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A Splendiferous Two Thousand And Two .............. << previous // next >>
Do you remember when you were little and your mind was filled with unrealistic expectations and imaginative wishes radiating straight from your heart? Did you wish that you could fly or hold a cloud in the palm of your hand? Maybe you dreamed about becoming a firefighter and saving the lives of the innocent, or perhaps you thought about riding a horse like Black Beauty. Whatever your dreams were, they became a part of you. For most people, dreams and goals are both realistic and unrealistic. That's the beauty of it all. Extending our horizons to new heights allows us for unprecedented motivation that carries through our souls up until the day we leave this fair planet. So, whether you've been heartbroken, disappointed, grief-stricken or angered, your dreams still live on, perhaps not in your own mind any longer, but in the minds of others, all over the globe. Whoever told you that dreams come true was intelligent, for that's the truth. A dream is like a whisper that carries gently through the air and flutters towards a child somewhere out there and caresses the face. Somewhere, sometime, someone is wishing the same thing you are wishing or the same thing you have wished before. Dreams live on. Usually in order to fulfill our dreams, we need to work hard and only then will we reap the rewards of our toil. Sometimes they come easily and other times we get frustrated because we de-motivate ourselves and think that it's never going to happen. Dreams do come true. For as long as your heart craddles it and for as long as your soul embraces the idea, your dream is alive. What if all your dreams came true all of the time? Would that be too easy? Would you even want that? Stop and take some time to think about it. Would you want everything to come without a struggle? Sounds incredible at first, but think about how much you gain from struggles and hardships. You develop your character, your wisdom and your determination. I've been thinking about this topic a whole lot. Why? A few nights ago, I had the most spectacular dream. It was just about all of this. It was so envoking, inspiring and deliciously enticing that I am now motivated to write my dream down on paper. The storyline is excellent and the message behind it all is overwhelming for the imagination. I won't write the storyline down here because it's way too detailed, and I don't like typing stories on the computer. I like the old-fashioned-pencil-to-paper method. Yes, I know that I have lots of university school work and such, but I'm not planning to write the whole novel in one sitting! I'll do it gradually and maybe, if I think it's good enough, I'll send it out to a publisher. It has always been my dream to have my own book published. I write tons of stories all the time, but I think that this dream that I had would make the ultimate story more than one I could ever come up with. I have this strong urge to write a book that's deep, emotional and thought-provoking. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. Oh...and for those who are faithful to me and my online diary, I want to reassure you that I haven't given up my drive to become a psychologist, to be a writer. I love writing, but psychology is the subject for me (that, and English and Religion). Anyway, I'm counting my chickens before they are hatched. I haven't even written a single page of this story that I planned to! Once I finish this diary entry, that's exactly what I'm going to do, while the storyline is still fresh in my memory. You probably think that I am a 19 year old girl who has the ego the size of a hot air balloon and the naiveness of a kitten teasing a large dog. Yes, perhaps I am those things. Perhaps I am not. Perhaps everyone is at certain times in their lives. No, I don't plan on writing a novel that will become a classic. No, I don't want to write a book to 'make millions of dollars'. I will be satisfied if I can write a long novel that captures the depth of the human spirit and emotions in such a way that you shed a tear and learn something from it. The publishers can laugh at my lousy attempt to write a novel. People can tell me that the story stinks worse than a skunk. People may yawn and fall asleep while trying to read my work. Whatever the case, I will still be pleased. I can be proud of writing a book, even if it is rejected by everyone else in this critical world. Why? It is because my story is a piece of me and a piece of how I envision this world to be. When I read the story many years later, I will reminisce all the labour of love poured out to produce it. To me, that is an accomplishment in itself. I strive for the challenge and the challenge is what I will exceed. I may be just a teenager on the brink of 'official adulthood', full of ignorance, discombobulated with some world issues and swamped with pessimistic messages from society, but I dare you to look me in the eye and tell me that I won't make it...because I will. I want to prove to myself that I have many interesting things to say, in an eloquent way of wording it. Well, enough about those thoughts. Let me tell you what happened today. I got back my sociology exam mark! *Smile* I got 84%. That's equivalent to an A. In some other courses that would be an A - , but this class has a different marking scheme. Anyway, the exam was fair, but tough. There were 11 chapters' worth of content that we needed to know. The average of the entire lecture class (about 150 people who wrote the exam) was 67.7% and the mode was around 55%!!! I would CRYYYY if I got so low a mark. The exam was out of 75 multiple choice questions. Anyway, I'm happy with my mark and actually, I'm quite surprised, because I crammed a lot of that studying in just a few days before the exam (which is a definite no-no). My next sociology exam is in April and this time there will be 12 chapters. I'm not going to leave it to the last minute. I've learned my lesson. I'm going to gradually work through it. See? I am really lazy. I need to curb this tendency before it gets the better of me. Laziness is a hindrance in school and in life. Oh...and I also got back my social science essay, which I wrote and handed in before the Christmas holidays. The average for most university classes is a C, which is in the 60% area. Anyway, with that said, I'm soooooooooo conceited when I boast and tell you all that I got an A!!!!!!!!! I'm soooooo overwhelmed with joy and elation!!!! I mean, a lot of people in the class got a C and a few got Bs, but an A (especially for my teaching assistant) is a difficult mark to obtain. She really critiques everything you write. Even if you get an outstanding mark, your essay is still full of corrections, suggestions and comments. Well, it's good that she involves herself with the papers. She's dedicated, that's for sure...hehe...and quite patient too! Tonight I was supposed to go to the campus pub with Nicole and then later to the mall. That didn't happen. I'm a little disappointed because every Thursday Nicole and I go and do something together. I look forward to it after the week is over (I have no class on Fridays). Anyway, next week we will definitely go. I need to get some new shirts and a belt. It's really sad, but the belt I currently used has been beaten and worn out. It's literally falling apart. Haha...it looks so cheap! Anyway, it's about time that I get a new one. I do have this other one that's blue. It looks like funky snake skin, but the problem with it is that the buckle bulges out and makes me look like I have a tummy (when I don't), so I don't wear it. Hey, I just realized something. This is my first diary entry since the holidays began. This is my first entry as of the year 2002. It just dawned on me that I never told you about how my holidays went. It was awesome!!!! The food was delicious and the company was great. I didn't get many presents, but I don't care anymore. I remember when I was little, it was all about who gave you what. Now, I focus more on the birth of Christ, my family and friends. Now that is how I define Christmas. I wouldn't trade this vision for all the presents you could shower me with. Christmas has been said to be a magical time, but I've been thinking, perhaps it's more of a spiritual time. Our souls become uplifted. God's presence becomes more noticeable and this time of year renews the faith of many. For New Year's Eve, I went out with my boyfriend and a few friends (Nicole, Eva, Tracy and Mario). Actually, I had just met Mario that day. It was funny, because he thought that I was Spanish or of a European ethnicity, rather than Chinese (which is what I am...Chinese-Irish-Scottish mix). I think that's so cool. It's also funny, because nobody seems to know what I am. Okay, well....SOME people know that I'm Chinese straight away, but others think that I'm Spanish or Filipino or from somewhere in Europe. Even some of my close friends have told me that I don't look like the typical Chinese person. I asked why and I wasn't offended at all. They said it was because of my hair (which is naturally curly and medium thickness) and my eyes (which are quite round and not like the stereotypical thin-slit-eyes). My boyfriend says that my skin tone is very fair. Actually, it's about as white as my Polish friends. My hair is naturally a brownish black, however, I finally ended up dying it (after much internal debate). I got my hair professionally dyed this gothic black (way darker than my natural haircolour) and streaked throughout with bright red. Unfortunately, red doesn't work well with me. I mean, it looked awesome the first few days, but then the colour of the streaks started to fade and the red dye washed out. Now, the streaks are a bright brownish auburn. People have told me that it looks really nice, but I'm kinda bummed about the red fading. I love red hair, but my hair just doesn't absorb and retain the colour well. Anyway, I have vowed to myself that I won't dye my hair ever again. This was the last time. I'm just going to grow out my natural hair (and its colour) and be satisfied with that. Dying hair is too much work and money. I blew $100 (Canadian) on my dye job. Anyway, this is the first time that I've ever streaked my hair. I think it rocks. I like how it really defines the curls and draws your eye towards my hair. The streaks are really noticeable and I like it that way. I was going for a slightly-punky look, although I'm far from a punk. I just wanted to look a little different, but then again, so does everyone else. Even people who want to be different and unconventional are still conventional and conforming to their own group. It's like that saying I read somewhere: " Why do you have to be a non-conformist like everyone else?" Haha...I love that quote. *Smile* So, back to New Year's Eve...I got distracted. It was really fun and my boyfriend and I ended up riding the public transportation home really early in the morning. It was an amazing night and we all had fun. We stayed out the entire night, but I wasn't cold, because I wore layers (minus the snowman/Michelin Tires look). Actually, it was my boyfriend's and my 11 month anniversary since we've been dating. We were 'officially' a couple as of January 31st, 2000. I can't believe that it's going to be a whole year soon. Anyway, my Dad thinks that it's ridiculous how 'young people' nowadays count the months that they've been dating together. He keeps on telling me not too make so much of a deal about it because it's not that long. That's the difference between his generation (Those born in the late 1930s) and mine (early 1980s). This generation, we celebrate monthly anniversaries. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. My Dad says that if we continue to do this, we're just setting ourselves up for heartache. Gee...lovely advice, eh? *Smirk* Anyway, that's the wisdom of fathers. They always want the best for their children. I understand that. Still, on the other hand, I don't think that I'm going overboard. Danny (my boyfriend) and I don't always do something fancy for each anniversary. We just SAY "Happy [fill in the blank] month anniversary!" Although, on the 4th month anniversary, Danny sent 6 red roses to my door. What a sweetheart! *Smile* It's interesting how people avoid eye contact on the bus and the subway. While I was coming home from school this evening, I noticed this a lot more than usual. It's funny how once people step onto the public transportation, all of a sudden they seem to find that "Don't lean against doors" sign oh-so-much more interesting when they want to avoid eye contact. Then, there are people who admire the floor. There are also people who look at you and once you look back at them, they look away quickly, as though embarrassed or ashamed (Why? I have no idea). Of course, you also get the strange psycho too, who is always at the other end of the subway car (of course) and is staring directly at you for the longest time (so long that it sends shivers up your back). What I also notice and I think is hilarious is that people INSTANTLY become sleepy when they are on the public transportation. I was looking around (as usual) and you see people with their eyes closed, their head down and yawning like crazy. You'd think that there was some sleeping gas filling up the subway car! It's just amazing what a small area of space does to people. People become so self-conscious of their personal space. It's a novel psychological study and I've been observing the people so much that I could practically conduct my own formal experiment!!! *Smile* Okay, I know that this entry is short and all, but my Dad wants to use the computer, so I'm going to finish this up and get off. Alright....take care and until my next ramblings, have a splendiferous 2002 and always remember to SPREAD THE SUNSHINE!!!!!! P.S. Don't ya just LOOOVE that word, 'splendiferous'? Haha... ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. TRIVIAL TIDBITS ABOUT ME: RIGHT NOW ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. EYES: Lined all around with sparkly black eyeliner, black mascara NAILS: Au natural...no nailpolish yet LIPS: Slicked with loads of clear shiny lip gloss HAIR: Curly and down (scrunched with air mousse) THINKING ABOUT: my aspirations in life (yes, it's very vague, but that's because I'm thinking about everything and it's far too much to type in this little section.) WISHING: People didn't limit themselves to the foolish conformities and mind sets that society imposes SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Get The Party Started" by Pink (Ugh...I can't get away from this song. It's playing EVERYWHERE and now it's driving me crazy. I used to think it was okay, but because the song has been butchered, I'm turned off) SONG I'M LISTENING TO NOW: "Estoy Aqui" - sung by Shakira (yeah...it's a Spanish song and I don't understand most of it, but I really enjoy listening to Spanish music...the melody and the language sounds beautiful) LAST PHONE CONVERSATION WITH: My boyfriend, Danny NOTE TO SELF (This is an inside "joke"): "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" 
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Thursday January 10th, 2002. - 9:09 PM