The Fading of the Sun .............. << previous // next >>

Wednesday September 11th, 2002. - 8:15 PM

Just when you thought you had gotten rid of me, I come back with avengence and continue to talk up a storm. Hello there! It's me once again. I meant to write again sooner in my online diary, but then stuff happened (also known as life). I've been doing relatively well over the past little while, although things have been rather busy, plus there were more than a few things that ticked me off here and there (more on that later). So, there's a thousand and one things to tell and just not the time, patience, or will power to say it all. I guess I'll just tell you the highlights of the end of my summer vacation and then perhaps about school and such.

After I got back from my vacation to the Maritimes, my parents and I went down to the local fair. In previous years, and especially as a child, I always viewed it as a place of excitement, with lots of things to do, lots of rides to go on, and lots of candy to rot my teeth and my mind. Whether it was the lack of financial support or lack of organization, the fair this year didn't seem to be that exciting, to my disappointment. Last year it also lacked its "oomph", but this year, even more so. It didn't seem like they added anything new. If anything, they cut back on the amount of performances and events of the day. Also, prices for everything were more expensive than 2 years ago. I remember that cotton candy used to be only $2 for a regular-sized bag. Now, they go for $4 (double the price). It's insane, really. You can't go to the fair nowadays without making the capitalists smile with evil anticipation!!! Yes, we live in a greedy corporate world, but c'mon, do we always have to be conscious about it??? Anyway, so even my father said that the fair this year was (and I quote) "BORING!" My dad NEVER ever said that about the fair before, so I knew he meant it. It's always sad to see such a good thing go down the drain and lose its greatness. It's like a widely-acclaimed ficton writer degenerating into an "ABC" book author. It's sad and frustrating. It also makes you wonder how it could have ever happened to begin with. Oh well...times are "achanging"...and boy, just using that expression makes me feel like an old mule. *Smirk*

Well, okay, I ended up buying something from the shopping pavilion. You're probably going to laugh the milk out from your nose when I tell you. I bought a hand-knitted wool scarf and matching hat. Yes, I KNOW it's really early (TOO early) to be buying winter stuff, but I couldn't help it. It was the most darling (and nerdy) thing I ever saw, and I knew I had to have it. Both scarf and hat are made out of hand-spun wool and the wool is all rainbow colours (Red, orange, yellow, blue, purple, green). It's so bright and funky (and yet so darn nerdy too). Oh well....people can laugh at me all they want when I wear it this winter. At least it's warm and I like it.

Okay, what else can I tell you about my summer? Oh yeah, on August 31st, I went over to Nicole's house for her end-of-the-summer party. A handful of my other highschool buddies were there too. It was a barbeque and it was really fun to hang out with all of them again. It has been a while since we've gotten a chance to be in the same place, altogether, and have a nice talk. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed. I really enjoyed my time there and I took numerous pictures of the day with my digital camera. I actually sent the pictures to my friends via e-mail and they liked it. There were some really funny candid pictures in the lot, and I won't mention them here so as to protect the embarrassed. *Grin* Anyway, so the day went extremely well, minus the terrible barbequers (as known as Eva and Tracy)...Haha, you guys, I'm only kidding!!!! *Smirk* Of course, hot dogs aren't SUPPOSED to be coal black, are they? Hahaha. Just kidding you guys. I never expected you to be the Martha Stewarts of cuisine (and besides, Martha might end up in jail for her insider trading scandal. Well, at least everyone knows now that she's not as perfect as she appeared on TV!)

So, when it got late, everyone left the party, except for Eva, Nicole, and I. That's when things start to go awry. Well, it turned out that Eva and Nicole got drunk. Eva and I took the Go Bus home, and the entire time I had to basically babysit her and watch out for her. It upset me to see her in such a condition. It also made me realize how stupid it is to get drunk. Not only are you damaging your insides and you're not in control, but you also don't make any sense. We took the Go Bus to the mall, but once we arrived there, Eva had to lie down because "everything was blurry and spinning around." She was really dizzy. She laid down on the bench in the mall, and I told her that if she needed to barf, I had a plastic grocery bag. Well, oh yeah, she DID have to vomit, and boy did she! EWWwww!!! Then, I helped her walk to the washroom. I figured that she would want to rinse out her mouth and maybe, if she needed to, she could barf it all out some more. Anyway, when she was done in the washroom, she claimed to have felt better, but then she needed to lie down again on the bench. Shortly after she did, she had to vomit again!!! I tried to lift her up to the garbage can so that she could let it out in there, but she couldn't stand up despite my efforts to help her. She was lying on the ground and just totally threw up on the floor! She kept on saying that she couldn't believe that she did this to herself. To tell you the truth, I couldn't either. It's totally not worth it when you look at it in retrospect. In the end, the "high" is not worth the "low." I, myself, have never been really into alcohol. I will drink it on occasion, but in moderation. I never saw the point of getting drunk. People think that it makes them feel freer, but I disagree. Being drunk makes you a slave to the alcohol. You're not free! For goodness sakes, you can hardly think straight!!!! How can you be free? You're controlled by the effects of the hard liquor! Freedom is an illusion. I'm just sorry that my friend had to find out like this. So, then Eva told me that she was going to go home on her own. You see, from the mall, we both had to again take another subway and then bus to get home (Nicole's house was quite a distance away from both our homes). When Eva said that, I was like, " Hell no! Not like that you're not!" I wasn't about to let my drunk friend go home alone at that late hour so that who knows what kind of trouble she'd get into. Since my dad was free and still up (and willing and kind and so thoughtful...*Smile* Love you, dad!!!) then when I called my dad, he agreed to pick Eva and I up at the mall and drive her home. When Eva got into my dad's van, my dad could tell that something was up, and he figured out that she was drunk. My dad's cool though. He's not the type of parent to call another's parents and be a "tattle-tale." Besides, Eva is 21 (a year older than me) and she should now be a responsible adult with the choice to gather her guts and tell her parents, or not. That was her business. Hopefully, if she has much sense (or any at all) she'll try to avoid getting herself into another situation like that again. I pray she learned her lesson. Anyway, although the night ended sourly, I can't say that it was all in vain. It reinforced my beliefs about excessive alcohol consumption and it made me feel good to be a true friend, someone who genuinely cared about her well-being. Not everyone would stick by a drunk friend and get her home safely. I felt good about myself, and of course now, my ego has been a little inflated. Then again, what's the use of an ego if you can't inflate it from time to time? *Grin*

Also near the end of August, I alone painted my entire living room and dining room this beautiful sky blue. It was the first time that I actually painted a large area without any help. It looks really clean and smart, with sky blue walls, a white ceiling, and white baseboards. I'm glad that I chose the colour. Also, I re-designed the furniture placement in both rooms all by myself, and then I showed my parents how it would better utilize the space and make our home look more welcoming. I pitched my ideas and they went for all of them.

Currently we haven't been able to move the furniture as planned yet because we've got a contractor here who's doing the tile floors in our living room and dining room. Originally he said that he'd finish the job in 2.5 days, but now it's been about 8 days already and he still isn't done! This guy is totally unprofessional and my parents and I are completely disgusted with his work. He put a lot of cement into the grout. Anyone who knows about installing tiles, knows that putting a lot of cement into the grout is a no-no. You use the cement to fixate the tile, yes, but you use special stuff for the grout. If you fill the grout area with cement, the grout stuff won't adhere properly to the tiles, and then there will be hairline cracks and worse. This guy is so disppointing. He didn't even use tile spacers (little plastic crosses that help to equally space the tiles apart). He "eyeballed" everything, so some tiles are slightly crooked, some are slightly up, and some are slightly an eyesore. Now that most of the floor is "done", there isn't too much that can be done to fix this mess, so we'll have to live with it now. I think that we're paying him less now because his job was so crappy. He's more like a handyman than a professional contractor. A real contractor wouldn't get into a fix like this (or at least I hope not!) It's really aggravating when someone tries to use cheap shortcuts and thereby sabotages the entire result. Why aren't there people of quality anymore? Okay, there are lots out there, but why can't I find MORE of them? It's so upsetting!!!!! Don't people take pride in their work anymore???? Doesn't anyone believe in customer satisfaction anymore??? What about good craftsmanship? What about doing a good job? Does everyone just want to cut corners and save, and thereby settle for mediocre? That is sad.

Okay, while I'm on a "complaining mode", I have one more thing to get off my chest. Today my mom borrowed my blue Nevada hoodie zip-up sweater because it was a little chilly in the morning. Guess what? She left it on the subway when she came home! I've had that since I was in the 11th grade and I used it quite often. It only cost me like $35, but it was one of my favourites. I can't believe she lost it! It's not like my mother to lose things, let alone on the subway. In a way I'm furious that I may have lost it forever (if the subway staff can't find it, or if someone took it), but at the same time, I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be angry with my mom. People forget sometimes. I've lost things before, myself. Still, it always seems to enrage the fire when someone else loses your stuff. I really hope my sweater turns up. If not, I'm not going to ask my mom to replace it or pay for it. That wouldn't be right. I'll just be extra cautious about what I let her borrow from now on. Haha, she better not lose another of my shirts/sweaters again, or I may just have to go up on a hill and scream at the top of my lungs. Yes, now you know the secret. I am the one who's responsible for creating those larger-than-life richter scale earthquake measurements! *Smirk* Honestly though, I probably just need some time to calm down and then I'll be fine. Right now though, I'm blowing fire through my nose like a dragon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, on Monday I had my psychology statistics class. My professor is terrific (so far) and I think that I will actually do well in the course! I was a little intimidated about taking the course because it involves math, but now that I'm steadily working through my textbook and solving problems, I realize that I was silly. I seem to be understanding the work. I've been getting all my answers correct. Then again, it's JUST the first chapter. Things will get harder in time, I'm sure. I'm going to work harder though and rise to the challenge. Afterall, this statistics course is mandatory and counts towards my major. I have to do well and I'm confident that I'll succeed. I'll give myself no excuses. " No retreat. No surrender." If you don't hear from me anymore when exam time comes, it's because the exam killed me. *Smirk* Haha, just kidding!!! The exam isn't gonna kill me. I'm going to ROCK IT!!!!!! (I pray I do!!!)

Yes, it's September 11th and yes, it marks a year since the crazy terrorist attack on the World Trade Centre. Why haven't I mentioned it sooner? Simple. I figure that enough people in the media have talked their mouths dry about it. You probably couldn't go anywhere today without hearing about it. There are lots of people out there who are greiving and don't need an annual reminder to bring their tears back. I respect that, so this paragraph is all I'm going to say about those damn terrorists.

So, did anyone watch the finale of "American Idol"? I did and I really believe that Kelly deserved to win. Sure, Justin was good, but Kelly appeared to have a greater vocal range. Her voice sounded stronger. Justin had his own style of music that is so soothing and mellow. Then, Nikki (the fiery fake redhead) had a style all her own. I missed Nikki when she was eliminated. Okay, so her vocals weren't as strong as Justin's or Kelly. Her outrageous style was star material, I thought. I liked how she's so original and isn't afraid to be herself. I heard from "Extra" the TV show that Nikki used to be a stripper. I feel sorry that they had to publicize that in an attempt to create controversy. People always like to dig up dirt on others, but hide their own flaws from the world. Nikki is talented as a singer, and that's why she auditioned to get on American Idol. Yeah, so she was a stripper before. At least she's trying to move onward and upward. How can anyone go higher when you keep trying to knock them down???? Nikki, I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do. It would be interesting to see Nikki become a famous singer someday.

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Until the next time I get on a writing binge again, take care and always remember to spread the sunshine because your rays of sunlight could brighten up someone else's storm clouds! *Smile*

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TRIVIAL TIDBITS ABOUT ME: RIGHT NOW

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NOTE: I've decided to permanently eliminate the sections I previously had (Eyes, Lips, Hair, etc.) I got tired of stating what make-up I was wearing or how my hair was styled. All that was superficial and totally not me, so it bit the dust. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, look at a previous diary entry (at the Trivial Tidbits About Me section to see what I mean).

THINKING ABOUT: School. I'm going to try super hard this year. I want to be able to look a course in the eye and say, "Hey you! I could kick your butt without smudging my mascara!" *Grin* Hey, it's gonna happen!

LAST TV VIEWING: I didn't watch any TV today, but last night I watched one of my all-time favourites "The Neverending Story" (the 1st one, and by far, the best - most would agree)

SONG(S) STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Horizon" by 38th Parallel & "I'd Do Anything" by Simple Plan

SONG I'M LISTENING TO NOW: "A Moment Like This" by Kelly Clarkson. I hope her singing career goes far and that she remains in touch with her fans and her morality. I also secretly hope that she remains her geeky-self, no matter how Hollywood tries to shape her image.

LAST WORDS: (This is a section that holds meaning only to myself - it's an inside thing) Don't be so overconfident, because the moment you think you're too good will incidentally be the same time you slip on a banana peel and fall face first into a fresh pile of dung! Haha...

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