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.oOo...DIARY MENU...oOo. :: Newest Entry ::  |
Are You Holding Up Falling Stars? .............. << previous // next >>
It's late as you can tell from the time posted at the top. Why am I writing? You tell me. Why does anyone write? To release emotions? To uncover solutions to problems? To make sense of nonsense? Perhaps I'm doing it for one or all of these reasons. Don't ask me to think. I'm here to write and to just scribble down the first things that come to mind. I'm not an eloquent or famous author like Mary Shelley nor am I as knowledgable as David Suzuki. I'm just Mary Shaw amongst the sea of people. Sometimes I seem to know myself quite well and then I end up doing something completely berserk and I end up questioning my character. Do you know how I'm feeling? Sure, I like being a walking contradiction (it sets life aside from the mundane), however, some consistently is required and desired. It's time for me to grow as a person and do something with this online diary of mine. I find my entries to be rather drab (to say the least) and I think it is mainly because I chatter on and on about trivial matters or things that cure insomnia. So, for at least this entry, I'm going to try to dig deeper and scour my brain. Out with brain-drying thoughts and in with stimulating ideas and wacky thoughts. My writing style can't develop until I learn to widen my literary range. I have to burst that bubble. I must break writing taboos now and then. I must learn to walk along the zig-zag line or else my writing will appear flat, useless, and simply a waste of precious cyberspace. A month ago I have been working on writing a short novel. While I have had short stories published in school publications, I am now hoping to achieve higher goals. This is definitely going to be easier said than done, however, I believe in myself enough so that I can make these dreams into a reality. I have always been in love with the English language and it is the only one that I am comfortable with. It's my first language, but it may not necessarily be my last, considering that I am Chinese and should learn to increase my measly Chinese vocabulary. Right now, I know enough Chinese to say the bare minimum such as: my name, going to the washroom, good morning, and of course several insults along the way. While I hope to acquire at least one other language (most likely Chinese), for now, I will concentrate on improving the one that I consider my forte (namely English). Like the character in Alice in Wonderland said, " Start at the beginning and when you come to the end, stop." Right now, I have to start further developing my English skills before I can pursue secondary languages. From there, who knows where the beauty of language will take me? I don't want to brag (or maybe I do), but I have usually received support and praise for my written work. At one point, I even considered pursuing the career of a writer. I'm always writing and usually it's good to have a career that's also your hobby. However, psychology met me and we fell in love and deep infatuation. Once I learned about the subject (through my bookworm-ish habits now and as a child), I knew that it was the subject for me. Now, I plan on becoming a social psychologist and on the way to that goal, I will undoubtedly have to publish several study reports and possibly even books. That will all tie into my love for writing, so it's a win-win situation for me to become a psychologist (please note, NOT psychiatrist...There IS a difference). I prefer not to prescribe medication if therapy can do the trick. If not, let's just leave the pills to the psychiatrist. Literature has been so important in my life, just as humour has and will continue to be. They both are powerful and have the ability to lose or save your sanity depending on how you use or abuse them. Butchering the English language has always been a problem. Yes, I am one of those people with a grammar and spelling pet peeve. I cannot stand when people use "there" instead of "their" or "they're". I also find it annoying when people mix up "too" with "two" or "to", not even to mention "alot" for "a lot" and "then" from "than". Okay, so we make mistakes sometimes. That's alright. No one is perfect, but please, if you find yourself using the word on a regular basis, please try to learn the correct way to use it. If not, your literary growth is static and what use is it to you? Language, as I've stated previously, is quite powerful. There is a cliche which says that "the pen is mightier than the sword". It sure is, until you are faced in a battle situation and are given a pen instead of a sword. Yeah, good luck there, sucker! See you on the other side! I just realized something. This is my first diary entry for the year 2003. I hope all of you had a fantastic (sober or not) New Year's Eve and New Year. Isn't it amazing? The passage of a year, I mean. Time is constant, but at the same time, seems to speed up or slow down whenever it wishes. We're all strapped in for the ride and honestly, I like the bumpy rides. That's how I learn more about my character. That's when I am forced to use my creative juices flowing inside my brain. That's when I get to really work out my neurons and synapses. Got a conflict? I'm going to find a solution one way or another. Yes, that's right. I don't give up easily. I can be quite the stubborn mule, but especially for the things I believe in. Okay, now, even though I have not typed much at all, my eyelids are getting heavy and I must end this before I fall asleep on the keyboard. lkgafdgjwregi-vga'jfutio[egjrijbioh[rhBKCl'jG"JG G....... See? That would be the result if I did. I would end up with gobbily goop that is indecipherable and you would think that I had gone quite mad. So, it's time to leave this entry and get my much-needed rest. I'll try to write again soon, however, due to my challenging university courses this winter term, your wait may be longer than desired. ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. " When You Look Outside, Look Inside To Your Soul " ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Symphonic" by Emm Gryner LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: "After All These Years" by Silverchair. Their entire "Diorama" CD is incredible work!!! FAVOURITE SINGER/BAND OF THE MOMENT: If you've taken a look at my website (The Mystic Realm) and took a peek at my lyrics/songs page, you'll quickly figure out that I'm currently obsessed with Silverchair and also the talented Emm Gryner. 
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Sunday January 12th, 2003. - 2:00 AM