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Monday August 20th, 2001. - 1:21 AM

It's been a while since my last diary entry and no, it wasn't because I was lazy (my usual excuse) or that I was busy with work (my other excuse). It was simply because I was out there enjoying my summer and keeping busy (my NEW excuse...haha). There are SO many memorable events which I could tell you about, going into explicit detail, but I won't because 1) There are TOO many things that have happened in the past weeks and 2) I'm too lazy to type them all up in chronological order (hehe...) So, instead of making it lengthy, I'll just sum things up simply in a little list. So here are just the facts of what Little Miss Mary has been up to these past few weeks: Went to visit Nicole in Pickering / Shopped around at the Pickering Town Centre / Bought this neat army-print tank top that has sparkles / Watched "Original Sin" (the movie was a stinker, even though I love Angelina Jolie) / Took the Go Bus back home and this was my first time EVER using the Go Bus / Took that bus with Maggie and we didn't know which stop to get off at, so we just figured that we'd get off when the scenery "looked familiar" (not the best idea, but very adventurous indeed) / Went to Maggie's place and had one of those long heart-to-heart talks about everything private and personal / Watched "American Pie 2" with my boyfriend and bumped into Maggie and Linney at the theatre (they were leaving and we were just arriving to see the 9:50 PM show) / Went over to my boyfriend's place and had a lot of fun *Smile* / Bought these dark blue stretch jeans that I am loving to death!!! / Went shopping with Maggie and met this obnoxious guy at the mall (who I later ditched for very good reasons)

*Phew* That list was longer than expected, and yet I am so sure that I am forgetting a few things!!! I can't imagine what, but it will come to me (no doubt), probably after I get offline (haha). Okay, well...Sunday, I woke up late (GRRRR! I've gotta practice getting up early) and I missed the 10:30 AM mass that I usually go to every Sunday. The thing is that I usually leave my house by 9:30ish because it takes about 20 minutes to get to the cathedral and I want to get there early. So...I ended up going for the noon mass at this other church (which was local). My mother was all grouchy that morning. Sometimes she really is a comparable competitor for Oscar The Grouch that it's absolutely unbelievable!

Yesterday I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. Hmm...it was actually just a few hours ago, but I have to say 'yesterday' because it is past midnight and it's officially Monday. Danny kept on saying that he misses me. We saw each other just last week and we talk on the phone practically every night, but he still insists that he misses me. He's really sweet. He's not one of those guys who are JUST 'sweet talkers'.....He walks the walk and talks the talk. He's genuinely caring and he's simply the best boyfriend I could've ever asked for. I really can't believe how special he is to me. It's just so wonderful and there's this bond that keeps on getting stronger and stronger as each day passes by. It's amazing just to sit here and think that at the end of this month, 7 whole months will have gone by since we've been an 'official couple'. *Smile* I have a very strong feeling that this relationship is going to last for a loooooooong time. *Smile* I feel like the happiest, most ecstatic girl on the globe! He makes me smile from the inside out and the outside in with just one of his warm fuzzy hugs and sincere eyes. You know what? Even though we care about each other so much (and prove it through actions and words), there are three words which still have yet to be said: " I love you ". I know that some girls would have gone ballistic by now if they hadn't heard those words from their boyfriends past the 6-month-period, but I'm not like that. Of course I would LOOOOVE to hear him say it, but I'm not one to push and push and push and beat it out of him. Words are just words and although I would be floored to hear him say it, I'd rather not rush anything, but just savour each and every moment. When it comes, I know that it will feel right. I want him to be comfortable and ready to say it. I'll let nature and emotion take their course. I don't want to accelerate any happiness because I'm content as I am and where I am right now. I care a lot about Danny (and he knows it). He shows the same affections back to me and I think that's what counts. Actions DO speak louder than words and hearing him say those three glorious words will just be like having the icing on the cake. It will be extra and an extra that is definitely worth waiting for. *Smile* Oh gosh am I ever excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm even getting a little giddy right now...hehe...Well...in any case, sometimes a relationship is so deep that you don't need to SAY it because you FEEL it. Still, I am young and probably really haven't experienced "true love" yet. I think this could be leading up to it though. 6 months (going on 7) isn't really a long time and I think that as time passes by, I will be revising my whole concept and definition of the word 'love'. Until then, I'm satisfied with who I'm with and how well we interact and share our thoughts with one another. (Danny, you're terrific!)

On Sunday, I downloaded an MP3 song from Win MX (a program similar but better than Napster). Guess!!! It's really corny. You know that song "It's A Jolly Holiday With Mary" from the movie Mary Poppins? Well....I now have it. Hehe...that song makes me laugh because the lyrics are so corny, but positive, especially since my name is Mary. That is one song that I can listen to even when I'm grouchy, and will INSTANTLY become happy and perky. It takes a great song to do that to a person.

You know what's really funny? People comment on my hair a lot and say stuff like, "You have wonderful hair!" or "I love your colour!" or "I wish my hair was curly like yours!". It's weird to hear that. I remember in Grade 9 when I truly despised my hair. It was of a medium thickness and quite frizzy as I had always blow-dried my hair straight. When I was a baby, I had curly hair. Just about a year and a half ago, I discovered that if I didn't blow dry my hair straight, it wouldn't be as frizzy. One day, I just washed my hair, wrapped it up in a towel and let it air dry. To my amazement, the curls remained intact and actually looked okay for the first time ever. Ever since that, I've been sporting my natural curls and I'm quite happy. It's weird to know that I used to hate my hair before and now I love it. Even Danny loves it (and he says that he likes playing with my curly hair). So, everyone out there, I want you to know that if you dislike something about your hair, there IS hope! If you have dry or frizzy hair, I suggest that you forget about that blow dryer and let it air dry or towel dry it because your hair will become so much healthier! My hair wasn't very healthy and after I stopped blow drying it and left it natural and untampered with, my hair has never been healthier! It's still frizzy sometimes, but never as bad as it used to be.

It's quite hard to imagine that I, Mary Shaw, am almost 20 years old (my birthday is February 25th, 1982). Twenty-years-old just seems so......so.....officially an adult. To tell you the truth, that scares the bejeebies out of me. I like (no, LOVE) being a teenager. We're allowed to be "weird" and "spunky" and "different" without raising too much of an eyebrow. Adults can have fun, but to the general public, they're supposed to be the "mature ones" who are "serious" and "well respected". There's nothing wrong with that, but I like acting quirky and immature and silly. Boy am I ever going to make a funny adult!!!! I wonder if I'll ever grow up and lose my quirkiness (I hope not!). I'm praying that I'll still be as daring and as adventurous when I'm 50 as I am now. The mirror will reflect a different image, but as long as I have a youthful personality, I think that's all that matters. Wrinkles are cool - they are proof that you've been around (either that, or that you're under stress...haha). I want to grow old naturally and gracefully. This means no plastic surgery of any kind (face lift, face shaping, nose sculpting, etc.) I just want to be myself from when I was born until the day I die. I'm not against plastic or cosmetic surgery, but I personally couldn't see me going through with any of it. I've watched some documentaries on television about it and I can really understand how the pressures of society drive people to reshape and alter their appearance. Some of the pressures are ridiculous (like having a Bambi-type nose to be accepted), but I feel that if a little surgery will make you go from being in a depressed state to one of happiness, go for it (if you have the money, time and knowledge of all possible failures and consequences). Sometimes people need a little boost to brighten up their lives. I think that surgery should be the last resort though. It's not something that I really condone either....I mean...this is God's. Your body belongs to God and shouldn't really be mutiltated or altered. Hmm....I guess this kinda contradicts what I just said, eh? Well....it's hard to say, "Yes, it's okay." or a definitive "No, it's not." It really depends on the situation and your morals as a person. In my opinion, I think that if all it takes for you to be happy are fuller lips via a surgeon, then go for it, but don't try to change yourself to the point where you are a Barbie replica. You have to remain true to yourself and try to be proud of who you are and what you look like. You are unique and there's no one else in the whole world like you. Your looks are to be celebrated. Your thoughts are to be absorbed. Your experiences will be unmatched. You are special and always remember that. You shouldn't really need a surgery to remind you of that.

Okayyyy....it's getting extremely late and I want to get up early in the morning, so I'd better go to sleep already! I know that this diary entry is probably disappointing to you (the reader), but I guess the thought wasn't really there like it normally is. Usually I am quite focused when I type my entries, but tonight (err...it's 1:12 AM...this morning), I feel that I'm fluttering from thought to thought on a whim. I'll TRY to write another entry again soon, but no promises that it will be done this week. Hopefully some kind of inspiration will come to me and I'll become windy and write a monstrous entry. Until then, be satisfied with this one. It was all that I could squeeze out from my brain at this time. *Smirk* Soooo.....goodnight (or...good morning....whatever...haha).....Sweet dreams! Take care and always remember to SPREAD THE SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!!

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ME: RIGHT NOW

---> Trivial little tidbits which you didn't need to know, but I'm telling you anyway *smirk*

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EYES: Black sparkly eyeliner, 2 coats of mascara (I haven't washed up yet for bed...but I'm going to just as soon as I get off the computer)

NAILS: Black with silver sparkles

LIPS: Au naturel....(I've gotta put on some chapstick!!!!)

HAIR: In a messy little bun

THINKING ABOUT: Going to sleep

WISHING: August had more than 31 days so that summer vacation could be longer!!!!!

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: " Alone In The Universe " - sung by David Usher

SONG I'M LISTENING TO NOW: Nothing! (This is a first)...maybe because it's so late/early and I don't feel like listening to any music at this hour

NOTE TO SELF - this is a section where I write about something that happened to me, whether funny, insightful or not (everyone else ignore this because it won't make sense to you. These are Inside Jokes/Comments): The dream I had about a certain co-worker...very interesting!

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