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Jumping Through Fruit Loops Into Skim Milk .............. << previous // next >>
On sweltering days like today, I think deep thoughts to myself such as: "I wonder if Mr. Muggs would find today muggy." I also raise my nose to face the sky because haven't you heard that nostril tans are 'in' this season? Right now I'm listening to "To Be Free" by Emilianna Torrini and it's more addictive than pistachios and bad reality shows. It's the type of song that makes you daydream about all the things you wish you had the guts to do, but are too much of a goody-goody to follow through with. It also has a bitter tinge of melancholy that sustains my sadness if I listen to it when I'm feeling down. People always say not to be deceived by the wrapper, yet it is human nature to expect that a person will act a certain way because of the way they look. For instance, people expect that I will start swinging on trees and eating bananas because I look like a monkey. Well, no...not really. I wouldn't insult a monkey like that. I do eat bananas often though and I've been known to "banana shoot" my fellow co-workers. Yes, everyday is free admission to Krusty the Clown's Funhouse... That's one of the major things about work that I love so much. There's always something funny happening and people are always laughing and having a good time. You just can't get this type of atmosphere at other jobs because they're as serious as a nosebleed and as stifling as constipation. I believe that the workplace would make for a great reality show. We have all the quirky personalities, so no casting director would be necessary. We have a boss who jokingly raps, "You gotta PHP...Yeah, you know me!" Then there's our other boss with the most gorgeous red, curly hair and who got hives from her eyeglasses (YES, you read that right!) We also have a 6'4" male who asks for Maple cookies in the cutest and shyest way ever....Awwwwwww!!!! We have a former DJ who helps satisfy our non-mainstream musical cravings and who has the most amazingly attractive and clear voice ever. There's also a female with whom I share crazy, coded finger gestures and subway rides. We laugh our brains out each and every single time. Then, there's the smooth talker who is constantly singing my praises. We have an artsy guy who dresses mod and projects a spirit from the 1970s. Of course, who could forget the guy who has yet to run away screaming, despite my continual weird question-posing: "Could you do me a favour? Could you jump up and down while scratching your armpits?", "What would you do for a Klondike bar?", and "What would you do if a hungry, HUNGRY hippo was running towards you?" It also is odd how he hasn't ignored me after my "jokes" about wearing tin foil hats to protect me from aliens, saving horses by riding cowboys, and the like. There are many more characters, but I'll save it for my book....hehe... Ahhh yes....the memories...and we are all constantly making new ones each day! When I was still in school, I used to think that my first full-time job would be drab, stuffy, and serious. I always knew that I wanted something different and to do something that would let me feel a sense of freedom, creative-wise and personally. I never thought in a googolplex years that I would find AND land a job that satisfied my strong desire for humour, oddity, and creativity. I get it all and it's so rare (sadly) for people to truly say that they love their jobs. I can say it: I love what I do! Of course it's not perfect, but then again, any place that I work at wouldn't be, if just for the fact that I work there.... A couple of days ago, I saw a documentary called "The Man Whose Arms Exploded." I probably enjoy telling people about this way too much than what is considered normal. I dunno...I just get a kick out of seeing their faces contort as I tell them the grotesque details. I will make this very brief because I've told this so many times and it's getting dry to me. Basically, the documentary was about the use and abuse of steroids among body-builders. Apparently even the slightest usage is enough to make one susceptible to experiencing a massive heart attack or stroke earlier than what is deemed usual. This one man had disgusting effects due to his steroid use. He described it as a large pimple. The thing is, this pus-filled "pimple" was on his bicep and (....wait for it.....) it was about the size of a person's head! His biceps were ridiculously large. Together, they were about as wide (or wider) than his torso! Anyway, so when he developed this problem, he had to drain the pus out because it could be fatal. He literally operated on himself and there was blood and pus all over the place! If you think that this guy was stupid to get himself into this predicament, get this: They showed a teenaged boy (one who was wishing to become a famous body-builder) the video of the other guy draining the pus from his biceps. They asked if he would ever use steroids. The guy said yes, he would and that he would do whatever it would take to make it to the top. His mother expressed her expected concern and said that she couldn't just sit back and let him do that to himself, especially since he might end up like the man in the video. What the boy doesn't realize is that even if he makes it to the top fast, he'll crash to the bottom even faster. From stupidity to excitment (Woo hoo!)--> In June, I will be going with a co-worker (who I also now consider my friend) to Buffalo. We're going to go shopping and see interesting sites (time permitting). It's funny, but we're similar in so many ways. We often say the same thing at the exact same time. We're both goofy and yes, she's the one with whom I have a 'secret, coded language.' We're also lovers of food. Hehe...the amount of food that we planned to bring on the bus for the trip is ridiculous! It's like we're packing to go away for a week, when really it's just for a weekend...hehe... Earlier this month, I bumped into an ex-boyfriend of mine. It was such a coincidence to walk into the exact subway car that he was in. Like from Tuck Everlasting, he seemed like he hadn't aged at all. We're still young (in our 20s - although he was born a year before me). It's not like I was expecting to see him with a cane after having not seen him for months, but it just felt weird that he hadn't physically changed. I think that I have changed. I never used to have this big ole Third Eye of Wisdom in the dead centre of my forehead...*Sheepishly smirks* Anyway, now he's working full-time at the airport. It's good to see people you know succeed and work hard (yet smart) for it. Ewww....just now my dad showed me a video clip of a baby who was born with a third arm! It looks as though the kid has fully functioning arms (all 3)...so they probably won't amputate any. That kid will have to be resilient because his childhood and adulthood will undoubtedly be filled with hurt, struggle, and ridicule. If he survives it all, he will become stronger in character for it. On that freakish note, I'll end this entry here, since my brain is temporarily tapped. Check back next month because by then, I'm sure the maple syrup will be flowing freely again. Mary Shaw ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "To Be Free" by Emilianna Torrini LAST FEW SONGS I LISTENED TO: + "Today Has Been Okay" by Emilianna Torrini + "Ride A White Horse" by Goldfrapp + "Let Love In" by The Goo Goo Dolls + "Ooh La La" by Goldfrapp + "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana + "Oh Donna" by Richie Valens + "Beep" by The Pussycat Dolls + "Be Without You" by Mary J. Blige 
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Wednesday May 31st, 2006. - 10:33 PM