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Rub Your Head For Good Luck .............. << previous // next >>
Mike brought it to my attention that I seem to be attracted to bald men. At first I laughed it off and told him that he was being silly, but then one day while riding the oh-so-smelly public transportation, I realized that there was more than a single grain of truth to be revealed. Unfortunately, many men view baldness as a sign of weakness or great loss and they feel that it is something that creates insecurity and perhaps embarrassment. That's why the hair transplantation clinics and toupe manufacturers are still thriving. However, when I see a bald man who doesn't try to cover his head with a "security blanket," I admire that. It's the idea that someone could reverse something that could be perceived negatively and be able to revel in an insecurity, proudly showing it off for the world's critical eye to see. I feel sorry for the men who feel that they need to do the hideous "comb-over" to hide the bald spot or to project the illusion that they have a full head of hair when they don't....*ahem* Donald Trump, are you reading this? You are the worst offender! *cough* Women are not stupid (at least most of them, I'd like to think....of course, I'm slightly biased....*smirk*). Combing over your hair doesn't make us think that you have lots of hair. We just think, "That guy is trying to hide his bald spot." Men, your ways aren't so mysterious to us....just like how when women pack on the concealer to cover up "blemishes," I'm sure that many men still notice them because hun, there's just so much you can do to cover up the craters on the moon. In a society obsessed with outer appearances that fit neatly into pre-packaged notions of beauty that the world dishes out, it's refreshing to see a man hold his (bald) head up high, confidently and happily. I've known several men who, once they noticed that they were going bald, simply shaved off the rest of their hair and embraced the Shiny Side. I also saw a photograph of a man who was going bald on the top of his head and he got a tattoo on the bald spot of a man mowing the lawn...hehe! I thought that was hilarious and very original! It's this flaunting of conventional insecurity that appeals to me. Confidence is sexy! Work it if you have it and work it even if you don't. Too many people (myself included) allow insecurities to take over our happiness, tainting it and preventing us from even being satisfied with ourselves. Insecurities also keep us from doing the things we love. I'm working on my own inner demons and I hope that one day I'll be able to feel better about the person I am, the person I was, and the person I will be. Christmas is over and it zipped and zinged by. During "family holidays" such as Christmas, I often feel left out. Don't get me wrong. I am very happy during the holidays and I spend as much time as I can celebrating the good times, but it always leaves something to be desired.....like an aftertaste in your mouth. Hand me some cheese, because I'm in Whining Mode and the Power Off button is nowhere in sight. Run for cover! Hide under the bed! Do whatever you feel you need to, to feel sane or safe from the likes of me. *GrrRRRrrr* hehe...Hmm...I have lots of relatives on my mother's side. Most of the relatives on my father's side died before I was born and the one or two who are still walking somewhere on the earth are unknown faces to me. Most of my mother's family don't care for me, want nothing to do with me, and some even think that I'm beneath them because I'm not pursuing the traditional "hard sciences" and instead have gone down the route of writing for a living. Also, some despise me because my parents and I are not rich.....and....(get this) some think that I'm oh-so-lowly because I am a female. Yes, Caveman Ideology still (sadly) exists! It's been this way since I've been in diapers and for years I kept praying, hoping that one day I would get to enjoy an extended family who felt as warm and caring as all those fake Hallmark commercials. I wanted grandparents who would hug me and want to hear about what's new in my life. It's time for me to crush those dreams. I've held onto those dreams for so long and the more I think about how much I want it, the more I feel a gutting pain in my heart. I can't continue to suffer and hope. Sometimes the hardest part is knowing when to let go...and I have to let go of this dream that will never become a reality. I held onto this hope for more than 20 years. It now needs to die so that I can get on with my life. I can't carry on with the whole I-feel-sorry-for-myself-and-how-I-don't-have-familial-affection. I'm going to drop it like a cold potato and come face-to-face with drab reality. It's going to be a terrifying battle, but I know that I'll come out a fighter no matter what. It's time to drop the burden because the dead weight is dragging me down. Perhaps the reality is worse though. I'm not too sure. I just know that pining for something you won't have can do a number on you and build up grand expectations, which will only come crashing down on you that much harder when you realize that you've been let down. It's time for me to free myself....(or at least try to)... Better days lie ahead... Lately I've been finding a whole bunch of non-fiction books that appeal to my aspiring inner intellectual and witty jokester, most of which are primarily concerned with cultural studies. While I have a huge Amazon Wish List, I decided to treat myself to a post-Christmas gift, consisting of 3 books: (1) Mental Floss Presents Forbidden Knowledge: A Wickedly Smart Guide to History's Naughtiest Bits, (2) Mental Floss Presents Condensed Knowledge: A Deliciously Irreverent Guide to Feeling Smart Again, and (3) Mental Floss Presents Instant Knowledge. I've been wanting to get those books for the longest time. Ever since I started subscribing to Mental Floss Magazine, I've wanted them. They appease your brain without being overly stuffy, since they are humourous. They make great gifts too. For the Secret Santa (Kris Kringle) at work, I bought the Forbidden Knowledge book for Domenic and he seemed to really enjoy it. I'm going to bring in a copy of the magazine and hopefully I can convert as many co-workers as possible to get into it and to become as addicted to it as I am! It's food for thought.....with a smartass delivery. Mike has a 15% off coupon that's valid starting in January 2006, so we'll probably browse through the Chapters bookstore. I want to pick up the following books: - "How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered the World: A Short History of Modern Delusions" by Francis Wheen - "Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess" by Susan Jane Gilman - "Everything You Know about Sex Is Wrong: The Disinformation Guide to the Extremes of Human Sexuality (and Everything in Between)" by editor Russ Kick - "Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress: Tales of Growing Up Groovy and Clueless" by Susan Jane Gilman On Friday December 23rd, I went with my boyfriend (Mike) and my ex-boyfriend (Danny) to see the new movie, "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." The music gave me goosebumps. The actors were decent and believable. They weren't spectacular actors, but they weren't wooden like Daniel Radcliffe. I saw the original and the remake is far superior. In the original, Aslan (the majestic lion) looks like a cheap puppet and The Beavers are also dinky-looking. In the new movie, with the help of advanced computer technology (that we love to often criticize), Aslan looks like a real lion in all his glory and The Beavers look more realistic and less like they were taken out from Mr. Dressup's Tickle Trunk (which even to this day, I still think the name is utterly dirty/perverted)... In any case, I hope that they make a movie for each of the seven books in the Chronicles of Narnia series. I think that during the series they might have to replace the actors with younger ones, since they would be "too old" to portray their characters, if they want to be consistent with the books. For New Year's Eve, I was thinking about going downtown to check out the city's year end celebration. If it's really cold, my boyfriend and I will ditch that idea and enjoy a quiet night at home. His house has a fireplace, so we can actually do the whole sipping-hot-chocolate-with-a-roaring-fire-in-the-livingroom scene. I never feel a need to drink tons of alcohol on New Year's Eve. I think it's a weird tradition. A little is okay though. Drink whatever you want, eat whatever you want (within the constraints of the law...no cannibalism...ugh....ewwwww!), and be merry! Mike has a large cupboard filled with all kinds of alcoholic beverages, but thankfully he also isn't the type who gets his jollies by getting smashed out of his mind. I appreciate that. I'd take brains over brawn anyday....Nothing's sexier than a man who flexes his mental muscles. Mary Shaw ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Ugly Girl" by Jack Off Jill (This is a parody of Aqua's "Barbie Girl" and it brings to light the social pressures women face, even though they are obvious.) LAST FEW SONGS I LISTENED TO: + "Ugly Girl" by Jack Off Jill + "Coração Tambor" by Ian Pooley (featuring Rosanna & Zélia) + "Queer" by Garbage + "Brackish" by Kittie + "One Night" by The Corrs + "Winter" by Tori Amos 
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Tuesday December 27th, 2005. - 11:32 PM