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I Can't Make You Love Me If You Don't .............. << previous // next >>
If you're a regular visitor to my online diary, you will have noticed that I have changed the background music on this page. Now you will hear the song "I Can't Make You Love Me" by the talented Bonnie Raitt. God, I love that song. It stirs the senses and emotions with the melody and the lyrics. In my opinion, the song has such a universal message that we all can relate to. We've all experienced this type of disappointing heartache at one time or another. How Bonnie managed to captivate such feeling in that one song is just incredible. Dear Special Someone, If the whole world stopped, would you listen to me? If all the comfort you ever knew was suddenly washed ashore or swept away, would you lean towards me for help and safety? What if you were stranded inside the tormenting of your own mind? Would you cry out for help or would you curse the darkness, clinging onto its blindness, hoping never to see the abtrusive light? Sometimes our hearts cry out but our mouths remain tight-lipped, our throats parched and sore like our souls. Don't suffer alone in the recesses of your loneliness. I'm here and I can dry your tears and comfort you. I have so much love to give and I just need the opportunity to show what I am truly capable of. I am not a dream, but a female with a vision of love. So, open up your heart to me and show me the sunshine dwelling within. I know it's there. "Men problems"...My friends have a few. Some are single and are exhaustively searching for that "special someone"....Others are with their 'snookems' yet their relationship is on the rocks. Still others are dating around, aimlessly not knowing what they want in a mate or in their life right now. I don't particularly envy any of them in this matter. Yes, every girl dreams of a fairy-tale-like romance, being swept away by a dashing young rogue, but oftentimes things don't work out to a happily-ever-after ending, if it can even be called an ending (beginning is more like it). While I'm usually the optimist (in fact, I tend to live in my world of unrealistic optimism I've been told), I'm seeing guys through a slightly pessimistic view. It seems like the ones who reside in my locality are highly superficial in more than one respect. Everything is about "bling-bling"...See the dollar signs flashing in the eyes? Why can't they see deeper than that? You may not always be wealthy, your big breasts will eventually sag, and your skin will wrinkle. Why are guys around here just living for the moment and failing to see beyond the glitter? Don't they realize that marriage extends beyond the dating world? Can't they see that without personality, you really have nothing to offer? Why are females so pressured by the world to look a certain way and to limit themselves? We're not pieces of meat. We do know our anatomy (and...haha, it's no doubt that guys do too), but please...where are all the intelligent guys out there? The ones who actually give a damn about you. The ones who want to make you feel safe and yet encourage your independence as well...Where are the guys who would rather stroll through the park than to go clubbing 24/7? Is life all fun and games until you find yourself filing a divorce??? Of course we're young and we all want to be crazy, witty, and wild, but....there's also a time to be serious. Yes, I know that I'm not really the one who should be "lecturing" you about being serious, considering that I often go "loco" myself too often, but really...these are things that I've been giving heavy consideration. Moving along...(My immaturity will resurface)... I have fully recovered from my surgery (I got all 4 wisdom teeth yanked out of my gums). Surprisingly, I experienced hardly any pain throughout the recuperation period. Obviously I was prepared should things become unbearable. I had a prescription filled for regular pain killers, but also Tylenol #3 (really strong stuff). I hear that some people get addicted to it. So, I developed a little bit of light green bruising along my jawline, but nothing serious. It was normal. In fact, my dental surgeon said that women tend to bruise more than men (interesting fact!). The swelling has completely gone for some time now. I can eat properly, talk normally, and act like my strange goofy self again....haha... Let my circus commence!!!!! Man, I watched SO much television while I was recuperating. I watched a ton of movies as well. Some of them include: Alice in Wonderland, Titanic, Indiana Jones, The Wizard of Oz, etc, etc. etc...basically all of my favourites from childhood until recently...Yep, I haven't watched any Indiana Jones videos for the longest time. You've gotta love Harrison Ford in that movie. There are no two ways about it. My favourite aspect of his character was that while he was so fearless and rugged on the outside, he was still vulnerable on the inside. Take for instance how he has a fear of snakes and yet is courageous when it comes to anything else. Also, in the part where he's injured and is resting in his room on the ship (in Raiders of the Lost Ark), he tells Marion where he doesn't hurt. He points to his elbow, forehead, eyelid, and finally his lips. Each area Marion kisses....Awwww!!!! Hehe, and then of course Indy falls asleep after the final kiss!!! Haha...Yeah, too bad an Indiana Jones didn't live around here. He'd make any girl swoon. Of course now Harrison Ford's older and he's with Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal), so all dreams are dashed....*Smirk* Ah yes...and then Alice in Wonderland. The last time I watched that was when I was in elementary school. Some people believe that Lewis Carroll was taking drugs when he wrote the novel. It is possible, but really, I don't care. The entire movie is absurdly entertaining. Hehe...remember the Queen of Hearts? "Open your mouth a little wider and always say: Yessssss, your majesty!!!!"....Then there was the March Hare, the Mad Hatter, Cheshire Cat, Tweedle Dee, and Tweedle Dum....I'm surprised that Alice didn't go COMPLETELY INSANE after experiencing all that! I know I would! Hehe, and I know that it would certainly take a LOT LESS than all that to get me to go bonkers! I went shopping over the last few days. I bought 4 pairs of dress shoes, 2 pairs of sandals, and 1 pair of sneakers. I also got 2 comfy hoodies, 1 pair of dress pants, 1 pair of black side lace-up funky twill pants, 1 nude-coloured lace tank top with scalloped trimming, 1 striped dress shirt, 1 striped casual t-shirt, 1 pair of black pinstripe dress pants, and a funky-yet-dressy acrylic tank top. *Phew* Hmm...I might have gotten more stuff, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head right now. Oh, and to everyone out there who's starting to think of me as a shop-a-holic, I am NOT. I have never done this extensive amount of shopping before. I actually haven't been shopping for quite a while (especially for shoes), so it was certainly due. I mean, I already had 3 pairs of running shoes, but one of them (the Nike one) is really battered! I've had that one since I was in the seventh grade!!!! I'm now in university for crying out loud! As for dress shoes, I didn't have the right kinds that you can wear with dress pants, so I needed to get a few. See? I was justified with my splurge!!! Hehe....Okay, okay! So I'm a little crazy. *Smirk* I decided to drop one of my summer school courses (the Psychology of Women one). I figured that I can just take that one in the Fall/Winter session. There's no hurry. So, this summer I'll just have to contend with Statistics II. That only starts at the end of June, so right now I'm just chillin'.... Last night I watched American Idol. There are only 4 contestants left: Ruben, Clay, Kimberly, and Joshua. I really want Ruben or Clay to claim the title. Last week I was extremely disappointed that Trenyce got kicked off. She has a really powerful voice. Also, it was so unbelievable that Ruben (for the first time) was ranked in the bottom 2. Tonight I'll be watching the results show and I am hoping that Joshua gets the boot. I don't like his singing style. Oh, and it's not the "country sound" that I'm opposed to. I actually do like quite a few country songs, but with Josh, it's like...he does something really weird with his jaw when he sings. He also just looks so stiff on stage...almost constipated, if you will. With the others, they seem more relaxed. I am in total love with Clay's voice and mannerism. He reminds me of one of those old-fashion classy singers. He's so confident and his voice is incredibly pure. I think he's kinda cute...For some reason, he reminds me of a mouse...then he's got such a powerful voice...WOW! He really isn't your cookie-cutter-image-of-a-pop-star. I'm a little undecided who deserves the title more: Ruben or Clay? Ruben is undoubtedly amazing. His voice is so smooth and everything he sings flows really well...but then...I do think there are so many singers in the music industry currently who have that same style. I think that if Ruben wins, he may just fade into the background with the other great singers, instead of standing out, like Clay would. There's no one on the pop scene who looks like Clay or sounds like him. That's what would make Clay more interesting to follow. Hehe...now that I think about it, Ruben couldn't fade into the background...hehe...It would be like a whale trying to fade into the background with a school of minnows...Haha...Yeah, I like that about Ruben. Even though he's overweight, he is comfortable with himself and his body image. Same thing goes with Clay. He's not drop-dead gorgeous, but what I find attractive about him is his personality and his voice (DUH!). I've never been into foreign accents, but for some reason, I like Clay's accent. Anyway, at 8:30 PM tonight, you know where I'll be: camped on my couch, watching the results show. Well, this was a pretty scatter-brained entry, but it will have to do. I'll write again another time with hopefully something more stimulating. Until then, take care and always remember to spread the sunshine, even if you're living in a land pervaded by storm clouds. ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. " When You Look Outside, Look Inside To Your Soul " ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt LAST SONG I LISTENED TO: "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park 
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Wednesday May 7th, 2003. - 3:45 PM