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Hold Me In Your Lap of Luxury .............. << previous // next >>
There are only so many times you can milk the cow before the udder runs dry and you get a hoof in your face, along with a perturbed expression from Mrs. Moo Moo. Writing is like that and honestly, some people MUST be getting paid literally by the word, because there is just no other way to explain their cyclical ramblings that leave students in a stupor. I've unfortunately read countless academic articles from supposed Ph.D-Know-It-Alls who not only repeat themselves page after page (for more than 15 pages at times!), but do so in droll, unengaging ways. Of course I have also read several articles and books with strokes of genius. I just wish that people with higher education would realize that using complicated language as a status hierarchy not only limits their potential audience, but also de-motivates readers. Use simple language, however don't talk down to the reader. Assume that your audience is relatively intelligent, but not a walking dictionary or El Nerdo Supremo. Good, I got that off my chest. The weather has been pretty darn dismal lately and so far there seem to be no signs of things perking up. I guess I could look on the bright side. The average high for this time of year here is around 4°C and for a while, we were getting highs of 5°C. (Sometimes there's a fine line as to whether or not the cup is half empty or half full). We were cheated out of a summer and now the weather forecasters are predicting that this winter will be a doozie (not quite sure how to spell that or if it's even a real word...Yeppers, it's fun making up your own words though, isn't it? Some of the common ones used frequently around at my house are: kakawanka and doinkie. Kakawanka has no meaning, but it fills the void during those awkward times when we want to say something, but don't know how to express ourselves - "Kakawanka!!!"...sounds Japanese, eh? We're not and we completely made up the word. It would be REALLY funny if we found out later that it IS a real word in some foreign language and that its meaning is perverse...WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG LADY!!! Oopsie poopsie!!! As for our other made-up term, doinkie, we use that to refer to a person who displays idiotic tendencies and whose brain seems to have taken a one-way permanent vacation to Fiji. So there you have it, two oddball terms that I use somewhat often....Wow, this is probably THE longest thought I've ever crammed into a single set of parentheses!!! I am SO proud! Nah, not really.....I'm not quite THAT pathetic yet...ask me if I am pathetic if I ever become a Britney Spears fan and then you may have something there...) The last time I typed up a spiffy entry in here, I was "rejoicing" about how school would smarten me up and stir the ole brain juices to create a uniform consistency for a change. Haha...sure. Well, here's an update: They've been "shaken, not stirred", thankyouverymuch. [insert torturous groan at my attempted joke here] Hmm...after having stole that line from James Bond, I now have a mental picture of Pierce Brosnan....and wow, I remember four years ago, I thought he was hot. Now, I don't do a double-take (not like he cares anyway, but...ACK! Why don't you tell me to stop rambling or do you actually like it?) These last few months have been rather interesting and since I couldn't possibly rehash everything that's happened (on top of me being far too lazy to do such), I'll just give you the Coles Notes version at lightning speed. I'm not responsible for crossed eyes or comatose. The curtain goes up... The spotlight comes on... and the freak show comes out... You just know that the week is going to deviate from the humdrum existance of the everyday and possibly be interesting when you find yourself doing an academic presentation on A) pornography for a social psychology seminar and B) sado-masochism for an abnormal psychology seminar. I did both back in October, in addition to writing several exams, composing several essays, coming thisclose to pulling my hair out from the roots, and thismuchcloser to exploding at the microcellular level. The good news? So far I know that I got A+ on the pornography presentation and its 11-paged essay counterpart. (Interesting fact: My pornography presentation partner is 7 years older than me and has a mild case of ADD [Attention Deficit Disorder]). Sprinkle a heaping spoonful of L. Frank Baum's "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" into one bloody cupful of Stephen King's "The Shining." Mix with care and then follow with a tablespoonful of Anita Loos' "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" and a small pinch of the-almost-unbearable Jane Austen's "Emma." Whip mixture until fluffy. Ta-da! You've got the recipe for my required reading in my English course since September. After the Christmas holidays, we will be starting on "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" by none other than Malcolm X. I, like many others, already know Malcolm X's life story and I'm not looking forward to critically analyzing it. In fact, I dislike reading anything about racism, discrimination, or prejudice. It's overkill and it's everywhere. Being a Chinese/Irish/Scottish Canadian, I'm part of a minority group and I sometimes experience such negative attitudes towards me (although nowhere near the extremity that Malcolm X did). My plight is a watered down version of what the Metis Indians experienced of being marginalized by both the Natives and the French. In my case, I'm often not accepted by the Chinese community and sometimes I'm not accepted by the non-Chinese community. Being marginalized stinks like a 45-year-old man who lives in his mom's basement and who doesn't bathe for months. (People, it ain't healthy to be reeking of garlic from your pores...not very attractive either, nor is being a racist...Get over yourself!). Speaking about bathing --> You don't know how much you appreciate a hot, steamy shower after a long day until your old water heater has to be replaced and for some wonky reason or another, the new one makes the shower run only cool (not even warm) water. That happened to me. I've been freezing my boney little chicken arse off in the shower since August of this year. We called up Hydro and they sent along an employee who came, said everything was fine, did nothing, and then left. Everything was fine for him because he can go back home to a warm shower, but I'm sure if he was having cold showers like us, he'd be screaming bloody murder, punctuated with much profanity. Anyway, so yesterday we got a plummer to take a look not at the water tank (obviously), but at the actual pipes (etc.). He changed one of the valves and now, we have actual warm/hot water for the shower! I'm so happy, I could moon someone. Yes, a poor person in Nigeria who bathes in the river probably thinks that I'm a spoiled brat to have gone berserk merely because I was without warm water for a few months. Everyone living in urban areas is spoiled rotten and we know it. Our one-minute rice, instant messaging, and online banking point the guilty finger in our direction, right up our nostrils, making us sneeze greed and hypocrisy. ..."All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."... Recently I read "The Shining" and it was my first Stephen King novel. Yes, it was creepy, toying with my unrelentless imagination with morbid cruelty. I also watched Kubrick's version of "The Shining" (that's where I got the above quote from) and it was nowhere near the Creepy Factor of the book. My aversion to the movie is due to a number of reasons: 1) I don't like Jack Nicholson as an actor, 2) The book contained a lot more creepy-esque things: vicious animal hedges, out-of-control wasps, etc. and 3) I prefered the ending in the book much more (I won't spoil the ending for anyone who hasn't read the book, but it is COMPLETELY different than the movie). My Mad Cow beef with the book is that there was an annoying amount of repetition and profanity. I can stand some profanity, but when it seems to be included for its own sake, it irritates me and I begin thinking that the author must have been at a loss for words and so, took the easy route by plastering a swear word as a band-aid solution. Overly using profanity is a cop out. Anyone can write "F this" and "F that." It takes great skill to not use profanity, yet still have such a strong impact. This just in: Tomorrow my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our 3-month anniversary of being together!!! We are going to do some window shopping, take some goofy photo booth pictures, and then catch a bite to eat at this restaurant we've been eyeing for the longest time. If the weather permits, we'll take a leisure stroll through the park and get some much-needed fresh air instead of being cooped up all the time. Wow, Christmas is coming. It's nice to have a special someone to share it with. Right now I'm having a totally 'warm fuzzy' moment inside that is absolutely undescribable. Take your left hand and place it over your heart while using your right hand to touch the computer screen. Maybe you may get a jolt of this crazy love I'm feeling. If you can't feel it, put your finger in an electric socket...but don't blame me if you become barbeque. My name is not Simon. Don't do everything I say. Yayyyyyy, did ya know that the Gilmore Girls season 2 dvd set is coming out in just a few days (December 7th to be exact). I pre-ordered mine from Amazon.ca and I cannot wait to get it. Gilmore Girls...salaam....saaalaaaam!!! Also, the Felicity season 4 dvd set is coming out in March 2005. Being overly anxious, I already pre-ordered it. Geez, when did I become such an internet geek, buying things online? Actually, Amazon.ca is the only online store I buy things from. Strangely enough, oftentimes their prices for cds, books, and dvds are a lot cheaper than if I went to my local mall. One time I did try eBay.ca out. I purchased a one-of-a-kind Rainbow Brite messenger bag. Other than that, I don't purchase anything on the internet. I don't trust it enough (security-wise). Well, well, well.....my brain has dried up now, shrivelled like a raisin that was left in the sun too long (and it's probably of that size too). This is my cue to wrap things up and call it a night. Sooooo.....take care and always remember to spread the sunshine! Cross your fingers. Cross your heart. Cross your eyes. *Grin* P.S. "Hold me in your lap of luxury" is a line from Gwen Stefani's song "Luxurious." I take no credit for genius...only insanity. ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. " When You Look Outside, Look Inside To Your Soul " ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers LAST FEW SONGS I LISTENED TO: + "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals + "Just Lose It" by Eminem + "Luxurious" by Gwen Stefani + "Brackish" by Kittie + "Trouble" by Bonnie McKee + "I Love Myself Today" by Bif Naked + "Closing Time" by Semisonic + "I Believe in You" by Kylie Minogue + "The Prayer" by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church + "True" by Ryan Cabrera + "I Kiss Your Lips" by Tokyo Ghetto Pussy 
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Friday December 3rd, 2004. - 10:45 PM