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Shivering Death & Sweating Life .............. << previous // next >>
One thing is for certain: I definitely can't say that my life is boring. After all, how many people can say that they were fast asleep and awoke to a live bat flying around the bedroom ceiling? I shit you not. It happened to me on Tuesday morning at the ungodly hour of around 3:30! It seemed like a bizarre, demonic dream and I thought that I was imagining things, but unfortunately it was all happening and right before my myopic eyes. I scrambled, after hearing what sounded like rustling paper, reaching for my glasses (because without them, well, I'm as blind as a bat). I'm such a girlie girl. I rushed over to wake my dad because I was way too chicken to catch the darn thing by myself. To make an unnecessarily long story short, my dad put on thick leather gloves and we tapped everything in my bedroom in the hopes of the bat giving away its hiding place. It didn't come out of hiding. Finally, my dad decided to check the curtains, since when I awoke, I thought that I heard the paper rustling (which was probably the sound its wings made) coming from the window, near the curtains. It turns out that the bat was hanging inside one of the curtain pockets near the top hooks! Carefully, my dad took down that part of the curtains and he brought it outside. The bat flopped around on the ground a few times before flying away. If only I had known that in Newmarket, there was recently a case where a rabid bat was found in an infant's bedroom, I would've captured the bat and sent it to the lab for rabies testing. Unfortunately, the bat was free. My dad said that he took a good look at it and it wasn't foaming at the mouth or dripping with saliva, but still...I was freaking out. What if I was bitten in my sleep? According to what I read on the internet, you may not notice a bat's bite because it can be as small as a pin prick. Also, once you get the symptoms for rabies, you are basically a goner. The innoculations won't work. You're doomed and you'd just have to rely on divine intervention. I was freaking out because even though I've said before that I'm ready to "go" anytime because right now my life is going great and that I'd go out with a positive bang, I really didn't want to die yet. It's incredible how a stupid little animal like a bat is enough to jeopardize a person's life. It's not quite a near-death experience and my life didn't flash before my eyes, but I was obsessed with thoughts of life and death. I thought about all the dumb things I had thought about before, such as shopping for Coach purses or even just watching movies in the theatre (the last one I saw was World Trade Center). At this point, everything fun or hedonic seemed frivalous. I began thinking about how a person only realizes how much they want to live when they're faced with the potential of death. I also thought about who would miss me if I died. I could think of several people, but I was in a pessimistic-paranoid frame of mind, so those "several people" weren't "enough" and I began feeling angry with what a waste of space I was. That self-hatred turned to severe sadness, where I thought about all the things I was looking forward to doing and that I might not be able to do...such as...getting married, having kids, and yet still becoming the feminist superhero of the world. Then, I thought about what God might have in store for me. Maybe I shouldn't fight this and just let the course of nature play out. Maybe it was my time to go. Maybe it wasn't. Perhaps I wasn't bitten by the bat. Maybe I was. Why did the damn bat have to come into MY house? Why didn't I kill it instead of freeing it...the damn blasted creature?! I was feeling mentally exhausted and traumatized by the events. That night, I had to leave a light on while I slept (something that I had only done a few times as a child). I could hardly sleep a wink because my overly imaginative mind (which helps me in many instances in my life) actually was deleterious to me now. I imagined the worst: Return of the Bat and the Bat Colony...the Sequel, if you will. I was physically tired, but somehow, I managed to fall asleep. So...a lot of other events and worrisome thoughts transpired afterwards, but...fast-forward the story to today...I'm feeling much better. My doctor gave me the first dose of innoculations on Friday, which consisted of one shot in each leg and one in my arm. Afterwards, I will have to get four more shots...one on the coming Monday, one on Friday, one the next Friday, and one the second Friday after that. These innoculations are preventative measures so that I will not develop rabies, which is a disease that, if you get, is 100% fatal. I'm sorry to say that ever since I found out that I would be given the innoculations, I have returned to my superficial old ways. I'm no longer obsessing about how wonderful life is and how scary dying and the uncertainty surrounding it must be. I've painted my nails a mirror-like pale pink (Rimmel's 60 Seconds Mirror Nail Polish in 408 Zing), I've been looking around on eBay for the light brown, signature jacquard Coach shoulder bag that I've been drooling over, and I've been staring at the adorable purple faux-leather cargo purse that I bought over the weekend that just passed. (I'm also thinking about getting the pink Motorola Razr cell phone. I absolutely HATE cell phones, but within the past year, I've noticed that I've had to make lots of "emergency" phone calls, so I may as well become a sucker and get pulled into the cell phone frenzy of doom.) I guess that it's too exhausting if we always were to think about how great life is...That's why we revert back to LIVING it. When you think too much about something, you're not truly enjoying it for what it's worth, much like when people academically analyze music. Some things just need to be enjoyed. Hmm...well, I'll end this short diary entry now because anything I say from here, onwards will just be overshadowed by my up close and personal encounter with the mysterious bat. (I now HATE bats! Before, I was ambivalent. Who would've thought that a bat could cause all this trouble?!) Hopefully for next month's entry, I won't have to write about my experience with a poisonous snake. Sheesh! Mary Shaw ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Me & U" by Cassie LAST FEW SONGS I LISTENED TO: + "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake (I wasn't a fan of his, but I am LOVING this song!) + "Slither" by Metallica + "Unfaithful" by Rihanna + "I Can't Hate You Anymore" by Nick Lachey (This guy whines! UGH!) + "Baby Dracula" by Scarling + "London Bridge" by Fergie 
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Saturday August 19th, 2006. - 12:29 AM