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Thursday August 15th, 2002. - 9:30 PM

Hi everyone! How's it going? Enjoying the last bit of your summer vacation? Well, whatever you're doing, I hope that you're relaxing and having the time of your life. What have I been up to? Well, I've been working on 2 of my clients' websites. One is for a nursery school and the other is for a gingerbread retail store. They're both coming along great and I'm enthusiastic about how they keep on getting better and better. It's also good because the pay is helping me to pay for some of my school textbooks. Since I didn't seem to get a scholarship this year (unlike last year when practically my whole year was covered) every little bit counts.

Well, it's August and all the capitalists are eagerly posting up a multitude of Back-to-School ads. Now it's the season to buy pens, paper, backpacks, and binders. To some, those ads strike disappointment or panic, just knowing that the summer will shortly be coming to an end. I remember when I was in gradeschool. I used to get ridiculously excited about buying Back-to-School stuff. I bought a bazillion packages of pens in all different colours and styles. In fact, I haven't finished using them all, even now!!! *Smirk* I stocked up on lined paper. I spent heaps on new clothes that (at the time) I thought were "cool." Perhaps I have inherited the "nerd gene" but I used to even (as crazy or "out there" as it may sound) like the smell of new books and stationery. It gave me an exhilarating feeling just knowing that I'd be starting a fresh year with a new teacher, new concepts, and time to spend with my best friends. I remember staring (insanely) at all my new supplies and feeling so happy that I'd be going back to school once again. I shouldn't be using the past tense because I still DO enjoy school (but now it's to a certain degree...hehe). I don't think anyone in his or her right mind can say that exams, studying for them, or homework is enjoyable all the time. Yep, I've had my share of blood pressure raisers (boy have I!) but that's another story.

Now when I think about school and heading into my second year at university, I'm not quite as giddy as I once was. Don't get me wrong. I still feel somewhat happy about learning and exercizing my mind, but now the work is harder and it takes more effort to rattle the old brain cells into activity than say, the eighth grade. Yes, I love psychology and I'm willing to work hard towards my major, BUT, haha and here's the undeniable and terrible BUT - I am a lazy person sometimes (like everyone is at some point) especially since I've been enjoying my summer way too much. It will be hard to get back to the groove of things in September. I'll have to get used to staying up late to complete assignments and finishing my readings, while being deprived of sleep the whole time and having to wake up early! *YUCK* Yes, such is the life of a student. Haha, okay, so it's not as bad as I made it out to be. It's worse!!!! haha...just kidding. I'll get through it. I always do and I usually get through it with a smile on my face.

I guess I really shouldn't complain because this time I have a killer class timetable that I scheduled myself! I only have school 3 days a week, but I am a full-time student, taking all of the required courses and then some. My friends are completely jealous of me because most of them have to go 4 or 5 days a week. See? It pays to work out your class timetable ahead of time. I get the final laugh and taunting smirk in the end, especially since a lot of people thought I was crazy to have planned my schedule 2 months in advance (hey, I had the time, so why not?!) If I AM crazy, at least I'm still smiling!!!

So, back to the school supplies. I promise that after I say this little comment, that will be the last you'll have to read about school. Haha, I know that to some of you the "S-Word" is equivalent to an ancient Egyptian curse. *Smirk* Well, this summer the only supplies I bought were a bazillion spiral notebooks (those 250-page Hilroy ones). I used to just use a binder and loose-leaf paper, but because sometimes (okay, a lot of the time), I take my paper out of my binders, the pages get mixed up and the chronological order is destroyed. Especially in university, it's important to have good notes in order for easy reference. Luckily it didn't affect my first year because I still got good marks, even though my binder was dischevelled. This school term though, I want to make it easier on myself, so using those spiral books will make it literally impossible for me to mess up the chronological order. Also, I'm tired of looking at plain binders. I've decided (on a whim) to spice up the spiral books by creating collage covers. I've already started one. I've got 5 more to do, since I'll be taking 6 courses in total. The collages will give me something interesting to look at and it will be different and unique. No one else will have exactly the same book. Sometimes it's nice to be a little different.

Anyway, lately I've been shopping for clothes. I needed some more fall/winter clothes (i.e. shirts with long sleeves). I got a couple of those. I like layering, especially long-sleeve tees under short-sleeve shirts. I love the look even though many people I know don't like it. Anyway, so I also got this funky navy blue hoodie. It's adorable! *Smile* It's got 2 light blue stripes on the arm of only one sleeve and on the other side, on the front, there's a zippered pocket. I like it because it's different and not something you see many people wearing. I also got a dark blue denim jacket and a brown corderoy jacket. Yes, I still have my black wool jacket and my puffy down feather winter jacket, but the prices were just too good to pass up! I don't often splurge on clothes. I'm a penny pincher and I believe that if you pinch a penny hard enough, you can split it into two pennies and thus double your financial state. Haha...kidding! I hope you knew that the last sentence was a joke. I'm not a penny pincher. I'm a butt pincher! *Owww* Haha...okay, I'll stop being a cheesy ole goofball. *Smirk*

Oh, and I can't forget to tell you about this awesome dark blue denim cowboy hat that I saw. It was hot, hot, hot!!!! I tried it on just for fun because my ex-boyfriend used to (and still does) tell me that I would look great in a cowboy hat. I guess I never believed him, but when I tried on that hat, I was blown away! It really suited me and I really wanted to purchase it, but then I looked at the demon-of-a-sales-tag and it was $45. Excuse me??? It's only a jean hat, for goodness sakes. How much profit are they making here? Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm going to get it or not. I want to, but, is it really worth it???

Speaking about fashion and such, the trend now is quite interesting, don't you think? I'm seeing a lot of crinkly shirts that make me feel like I need to grab an iron and get at 'em. As you probably could've guess by now, I haven't bought those fall crinkly shirts. It's just not me and the wrinkles annoy me, just as much (if not more than) the whole 3/4 length sleeves fad. Then there are the drab colours. When I walk into a store, I'm seeing a lot of dull browns and caramels and other "poo-inspired" colours. Some browns ARE nice, but TOO MUCH reminds me of the stuff that comes out the "other end." Then there are the ever-popular faded jeans. I like some of them, but so far I haven't bought any and I probably won't. I'm not into too much tight clothing. I like a comfortable fit (but not a baggy fit) that doesn't stick right on my skin. I have a small stature, standing at 5' 3", and whether it's unrealistic optimism or not, I'm always thinking that I might grow bigger and so, I prefer clothes with a little "give."

I guess the thing I like about the current fashion is the material. I've always been way into textures - common as well as the unusual. I like the soft suede-inspired shirts and pants. They feel awesome on! I want to buy something with that material, but it seems as though they're trying to pick my pockets! They often sell the faux suede shirts for $35 or more. Crazy? Yeah, I think so, and a heck of a lot crazier than me! I'm going to wait for the sales. They always come with patience.

Remember how I was interested in dying my hair blue (well, creating blue highlights)? Well, that ideas is on hiatus. I'm having some doubts (again). Just call me a chicken minus the feathers. *Smirk* Part of me is saying, "Why would you want to dye your hair an abnormal colour like blue and look like a smurf?" The other part of me (the wild side) is saying, "Go for it! It will be fun and unique. Besides, hair will grow out eventually and at least you will have tried it." Oh, and no, neither side has a halo or a pitchfork, incase you were wondering, so stop your snickering already!!!! Really though, I SO want to dye it blue just because I've never dyed my hair an outrageous colour. Right now my hair is black with blond streaks all over (originally the streaks were cherry red, but they faded to blond - to my disappointment I might add). People tell me that it looks really good all the time, but I prefer red over blond anyday. Blond hair has become so common nowadays, especially in the entertainment industry. I think blond hair is pretty, but I don't believe that "blondes have more fun." I think it should be redheads!!! They're hot, hot, hot!!! Anyone out there with red or orangey hair (natural or not), I ENVY YOU!!! You've been especially blessed!!!! WOW!!!!!

So, a little while ago, I was on vacation. I'm from Ontario, and I travelled to Quebec, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward Island. It was definitely a memorable experience and not one that I will soon forget. It was definitely weird being in Quebec, considering that I only took French class up until the tenth grade. Everything there is practically in French! Here in Ontario, there are both the English and French translation, but in Quebec, it's solely French. You either sink or swim regarding the language. Well, okay, that's not entirely true, because I did neither. I treaded water. *Smirk* Haha. I knew enough to kinda understand, but not enough to fool the French-speaking people. Another point of interest was that here in Ontario, you don't tend to see as many Ontario flags as you see Quebec flags in Quebec. It seemed like there were more Quebec flags than Canadian flags in the province. It was strange in a way just because I'm more used to seeing Canadian pride instead of provincial pride. Oh well, whatever floats their boats.

The path we (my parents and I) took through New Brunswick was rather boring. It was the sensible route though to get to our destination faster. Most of the ride was very scenic, but similar. On either side of the road were trees and sometimes rocks. Then we kept driving for another hour and guess what the scene looked like? Trees and rocks again. Another hour later? Yup, you're a smart cookie - trees and rocks. I took a bazillion pictures throughout my journey and perhaps one day I might just post up some of them.

In New Brunswick, we went to visit some relatives who I haven't seen since I was 3 years old. I could hardly remember much since I was so little at the time, and it was almost like meeting them for the very first time. It was slightly weird, considering that they remembered me when I was 3, but I only had the faintest memory of them. Oh, by the way, they were my father's uncle and his wife. They are perhaps 2 of the last few remaining relatives my dad has. I've never gotten to meet many of his family because they either died before I was born, or died soon after. Sometimes I think about that and I feel sad. I wish that I would have known more of his family and in the process, learned more about my roots. Sometimes I also think that it's a little unfair. My friends know their relatives on both sides of their families, but here I am, only having really met my mother's side, and even they are somewhat distant. You guys out there who have caring family members on both sides should be very happy. You've been blessed. Some of us haven't even met our relatives and wish that we had. So, even if chubby Aunt Bertha always annoys you because she treats you like a baby and wants to smooch you all the time, appreciate the fact that she cares. An Aunt Bertha is better than no Aunt Bertha.

So, we stayed with my dad's uncle and his wife until late at night. Here's when the story gets..umm..."juicy." That is, the mosquitoes came out and if ever insects were on a mission to suck blood, these ones were in the army! *Smirk* A huge swarm came inside and started flying all around. They bit my mother first, and we kinda teased her about it, telling her that it's because her blood was the sweetest. Eventually, they got me, and boy oh boy did they ever get me! The ones worth mentioning were the two near my ankles (one on each leg.) I was okay that night when we went to the hotel, but the next day, my foot totally swelled up! My ankle was swollen, and it hurt immensely to walk, and even just to stand up! I could literally feel the blood rushing to my ankles and it hurt so bad! I never (not in my whole life) ever got such a bad reaction to mosquito bites. Maybe it was a special swarm of New Brunswick mosquitoes on a mission to suck only foreign people from Ontario. Haha, maybe our blood is "tastier." Anyway, it took quite a while, but my ankles are no longer swollen (thank goodness) and I can walk without constant throbbing pain. The funny thing is that my dad's uncle said that after that night (the night I got bitten), no more mosquitoes came out there at night. I figure that 1 of 2 things happened: Either 1) The mosquitoes ventured out for a final feast before flying away or 2) My blood killed the entire swarm. Haha...the last one makes me laugh just because I'm always trying to be different and unique, but hopefully my blood isn't THAT different that it could cause extinction! *Smirk*

Finally, we reached Prince Edward Island. Yes, it IS a very beautiful spot. I especially loved the rural farm land. There's something so simple and homely about it. In P.E.I. we looked around at their shops and of course ate a whole lot of lobster and other seafood (since it's fresher in the Maritimes). Coming from a big city and going to a small city (Charlottetown in P.E.I.) I found their malls inadequate. I'm so used to the large malls over here in Ontario. In P.E.I. they were raving in their tourism flyers about their Confederation Court Mall with over 90 unique shops under one roof. When I went there, it wasn't spectacular. We have better shops over here, but then again, P.E.I. is more well known for their crops (potatoes, rich red soil). I also noticed that there didn't seem to be a whole lot of "wild-looking" young people. What I wore seemed to be wilder than what most people there were wearing, and this is weird because here in Ontario, what I wear really isn't THAT outrageous, but in P.E.I., it was. Anyway, I enjoyed my stay there and the hotel was comfortable. My dad says that maybe next year we'll go back and spend more time there.

A few days ago, I was walking around in the mall, shopping of course. Then, 4 teeny-bopperish girly girls were walking in the opposite direction. They were the type of girls who commented on people's fashion (those who they walked by). I saw them doing it to a few people ahead of me, and their comments weren't exactly flattering. I think that is extremely rude. Hey, what's hot to you could be SO not to others, so don't go sticking your nose in the air like you're the Queen of Fashion or something. Queen? Haha...more like victim. Not everyone has to be (or even WANTS to be) right up to date with the fashion or haute couture. I think that it's actually silly to believe that you even can. By the time you buy all the "hottest" items of the moment, new ones will soon replace them. You can't keep up, and neither can your credit card, contrary to the popular belief that plastic can take you miles. Fashion is nice, but be realistic. Buy what you like, not what the capitalists want you to like. You have your own mind, so for goodness sakes, USE IT before it becomes obsolete!!!

So, those girls were walking by with their belly-baring stops and skin-tight jeans, making comments left, right, and centre about people who they passed. Sure, they looked great...and beautiful even, but you know what? It's a pity that they didn't have attitudes/personalities to match. Amazing clothes look great on mannequins. Just because you wear them doesn't make you wonderful. Your personality does. Anyway, so they walk by and I hear them making a comment about another girl to my left. They said something like, "Oh, that's SO last year!" Whoa. In my mind, I'm thinking that I have met the original characters who inspired that movie, "Clueless." If there's one thing that annoys me, it was them at that moment in time. I have a strong dislike (but not hate) for people who act superficial and fake. In the end, we all want to be real and be ourselves. No one likes trying to be someone they're not. Heck, look at any supermodel. They're gorgeous, but do you see them always parading around all dolled up? Nope. Sometimes you'll even see them in ratty old jeans and a sweatshirt. All the fashion/women's magazines always seem to jump on that and post up pictures with stupid comments like: "Kate Moss: Sporting grungey moss" I mean, what gives???? Can't people just relax every now and then??? I mean, who can manage to always look picture-perfect? We all get bad hair days sometimes. We all sometimes wake up late and have to scramble to get ready to go to school or work. We are all human. Treat us like a human. We're imperfect. The more you pressure others into being perfect, the more imperfect we will feel and then what would be the point of that? I don't want to sound like I'm giving you guys a hardcore course in philosophy. I'm just saying that it's okay to be yourself, crooked nose and all, last year's fashion and all, and even sweatpants and all. You're comfortable being in your own skin and wearing what you like. Don't let other's opinions change you (unless they're trying to convince you to wash your clothes and you haven't for the past month...*YUCK*...hahaha). Unless that's the case, then be true to yourself. In the end, eventually, you will someday, someplace, have to rely on yourself.

To be completely honest, I tend to admire people who are unconventional. Of course everyone conforms at some point, but I use the term "unconventional" and "non-conformist" loosely. People like Gwen Stefani, Mary Shelley, and the script writers for the show "Gilmore Girls" all inspire me. Gwen Stefani is the lead singer of the musical group "No Doubt." Not only is their music amazing beyond words to do them justice, but her outrageous personality and "out there" fashion sense has me intrigued. She simply doesn't seem to fear looking and being perceived as different. She's dyed her hair crazy colours, worn mismatched clothes from the 80's, and has even had her hair styled in strange ways. I admire her boldness to be herself and she really has the look of a hot rock star!

As for Mary Shelley. She's the author of my ultimate favourite book: "Frankenstein" (the original 1818 version). Before I read about Mary Shelley, I knew next to nothing about her. She is actually a very fascinating person who led such a drama of a life! She didn't get the love or attention she needed from her father, she ran away, and she lived a wild and rebellious lifestyle. Did you know that Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein when she was only 19 years old? When I found that out, I was so inspired! She writes so eloquently and to think that she was just a year younger than me! People like this make you realize that you can do anything if you can dream it. Dream it and then live it.

Then, there are the script writers for the "Gilmore Girls." For those who are regular readers of my online diary or main website, you will know that I am in love with them. They are masters of their craft! They always manage to combine quick witty dialogue with intelligent remarks and sneaky pokes at famous people. Gilmore Girls has the fastest dialogue than most of the shows I've seen have. It keeps my mind stimulated. Also, the show makes women seem so independent and strong, instead of those soap-opera type ones. The show features characters of other nationalities and different body figures.

Oh, before I forget to mention. On my main website: *~* The Mystic Realm *~* (you can find the links on this site), I have updated my regular "Chat" section where I have a chat room. Since not many people were using it, I figured that I might as well should, since it's on my site. I have posted up dates and times when I will be in the chat room and available to "talk" to you. Please check it out. I would love to exchange thoughts with you and just have a casual conversation. I hope to see you there! Okay, I think that I've written enough for one diary entry, don't you think? I'll save the rest of my ramblings for the next time. Until then though, take care, smile at least 10 times a day, and always remember to spread the sunshine because your rays of light could brighten up someone else's storm clouds! *Smile* Bye for now!!!!!

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TRIVIAL TIDBITS ABOUT ME: RIGHT NOW

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EYES: Once again I'm trying to get away with "natural beauty" and so I'm eyeliner- and mascara-free....for today anyway. *Grin*

NAILS: Hmm...no nail polish right now, but hey, they're trimmed...

LIPS: Coated with my favourite Shaklee chapstick

HAIR: It has air-dried and is tied into a little messy ponytail.

THINKING ABOUT: Going back to school. I am excited to meet new people and to stimulate my mind once again. The summer always manages to kill a few brain cells. *Smirk*

WISHING: The people you cared the most about always reciprocated it back.

LAST TV VIEWING: Hmm...that would have to be last night's viewing. I watched Gilmore Girls. Yeah, it was a repeat, but thankfully I didn't see that episode the first time, so it was new for me.

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "Running" by No Doubt. What an awesome song! It strikes an emotional chord with me.

SONG I'M LISTENING TO NOW: "Underneath It All" by No Doubt. This is another beautiful song and wowww, Gwen looks gorgeous in the music video for it!!!

LAST WORDS: (This is a section that holds meaning only to myself - it's an inside thing) Sometimes you have to let go to hold on.

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