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.oOo...DIARY MENU...oOo. :: Newest Entry ::  |
U-G-L-Y (you ain't got no alibi) .............. << previous // next >>
Hiiiiiii there!!!!!!! How are you feeling today????? GREAT GREAT GREAT????? I sure do hope soooooo!!!!!!!! *Smile* Actually...haha...I'm just doing "OKAY"....okay...not really. I'm feeling rather blah today...It was rather yucky outside...and I feel very ugly (physically, mentally, otherwise, etc.) You know how when you're really happy, you get this incredible high..happy feeling? Well...you know how usually there is also a major down followed by the happiness? Well...I'm feeling it right now....like...really badly too....I'll explain.......Yesterday....my boyfriend came over. I almost wished that we had more time together. I missed him when he left. Actually...he left earlier than I thought he would. I was thinking about that. He said that he thought it would be better if he left earlier rather than later, because it would give my parents a better impression of him. I suppose that's true. I mean, when he left, my parents had nothing but good things to say about him. "Danny looks like a nice boy." , "He's well-mannered." blah blah blah......*grin* I think that I know better....He's a mischievous little boy.....*meowwwwwwwww.......pounce* hehehehehe.......Well......anyway...I was thinking that maybe he left early because of what I said/did......or what I didn't say/do.......hmmmmmmm.....I wonder. I don't know. All I DO know is that I am feeling very awkward and stupid now. Maybe I did something dumb......maybe that's why he really wanted to leave. Then again, he's more logical than I am.....and maybe he just wanted to leave a good impression with my parents. Hmmm......I'm confused...I guess this is just a little insignificant thing that I'm thinking about, but it bugs me just a little bit. Anyway.....so...today when I got up, I felt like crap. UGLY. I don't know why. I get in these slums every once and a while. Also, my mother has been bothering me quite a bit. She just totally doesn't understand the way dating works nowadays. I feel like she's trying to break relationships apart. Maybe it's all in my mind....I sure do hope so. *sigh* But....I remember when my brother started dating, she was so negative beyond belief! Now....she's going on and on about how I'm young and not to get too close. She's also saying how Danny and I don't have to see each other too often. Umm........HELL-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That just doesn't work. Why don't you just stick me in a convent somewhere where they practice The Grand Silence in seclusion???!!! *sigh* This is so frustrating. I hate ratting on my mother, but honestly, when it comes to dating, she is totally out of the loop. I actually trust my dad's advice more than hers. My mom hardly dated....Anyway...if this tugging continues to persist, it's going to drive me bonkers. Probably Danny will leave me. I thought that she would be happy...I mean, she is, but in a way, I feel like sometimes she doesn't trust me. This is ridiculous!!!!!!!!!! She has always trusted me....until now....when it comes to Danny. It's like.....she thinks that I'm going to lose my mind and ignore all sense of logic when I'm with him. Well...I DO have a portion of my brain left......Yes.......it functions very well.....thank you. Oh...and I'm NOT too young....I'm 18....turning 19 on February 25th. There are people out there who have dated when they were in gradeschool. I think that it has NOTHING to do with age. Most of the time, it's just a number. It's all about your maturity/immaturity. I wonder when my mother will understand this. Maybe she's just being protective.....I guess so....Still.....*sigh* ...bugs me......Anyway...my dad seems to like Danny. So....I better get going.....I'm not feeling very happy......and typing on this wretched computer isn't making me feel the least bit better. I think that I'll go and have some nice cold ice cream...........that ought to freeze my brain somewhat......*sigh*.........I feel like Oscar the Grouch........Perhaps in my next diary entry, I'll be all sunshiny......I hope I feel better..... ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. ME: RIGHT NOW -> Trivial little tidbits ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. EYES: Au naturel (*gasp* Almost unheard of!!!!!) NAILS: Same as above LIPS: Same as above HAIR: Straighten out and tied up (really ugly) THINKING ABOUT: How ugly I am WISHING: I didn't feel like crap SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "I'm A Bitch" - Meredith Brooks SONG I'M LISTENING TO NOW: "_PROGRESSIVE_TRANCE_" - This is just some song that I downloaded from Napster. I don't know the artist. It's just really lively...and I'm trying to wake up some of my brain cells with this energetic music. 
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Sunday February 4th, 2001. - 4:54 PM