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Widgets for Sale and Midgets for Hire .............. << previous // next >>
It's interesting to see what some people do when they think that no one is watching them. Well, sometimes it's also funny while at the same time, weird. The other day I went to Shoppers Drug Mart and I saw a woman vigorously shaking the life out of a Fructis can of mousse, before dispensing some of the product into the palm of her hand. Yes, hun...it's mousse..foamy and white. Another time I was in Dominion and a man cautiously looked around before opening up a pack of raw weiners and shoving them into his mouth. Okay, so that one was pretty gross. I'm sure that we've all seen the guy-waiting-for-the-bus who not-so-discretely adjusts his (hmm...how should I say this?) family jewels, the person picking a wedgie, as well as the woman on the subway who brings an entire dufflebag full of cosmetics and literally 'puts on her face'. One particular woman comes to mind. Her hair was a mess (full of tangles...typical I-just-rolled-out-of-bed hair) and her face looked washed out and pale (like when you have the flu and your face looks drained of life....hmm...or just imagine any of the extras on the set of "Shaun of the Dead," actually). This woman must've either been a make-up guru or a slave to corporate advertisements, because when I say that she slathered, blotted, and drew on every type of make-up a woman could ever think of using, I mean it! I didn't mean to stare, but c'mon...it's not like I see this sort of thing everyday, especially at this magnitude. Plus, I was curious to learn some extra tricks of the trade, even though reading Seventeen, YM, and typical Western beauty magazines as a pre-pubescent and as a teenager have sufficiently polluted my mind. Going back to the woman --> She began with a primer, applying it carefully-like-a-pro with an angled sponge, using the reflection in the subway as a makeshift mirror. Next up was full-coverage foundation and wow, after she put that on, all her red-spots vanished. Next, she dusted (probably waaaay too much) pressed powder all over her face with what-I'm-guessing-to-be a sable-bristled brush. She next liberally applied blush and finally she looked like a vampire didn't empty her veins. Don't worry, I won't regurgitate every little details of every step she went through (because I'm not sadistic), but I WILL say that with all the make-up she applied to her eyes and face, I'm sure that she paints herself more than even a clown does! I almost felt sorry for her. I mean, hell yeah, she looked amazing and will turn heads, I'm sure, but...that feeling that you NEED to wear so much make-up to be confident is what bothers me. Yeah, maybe it was a "special day" and maybe she doesn't do that on a daily basis, you might say, but judging from the way she seemed to have a routine down-pact, I'd say that it sure looked like she's been doing this everyday. It didn't look like she had to think much about what make-up to put on next. It was bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam-VOILA! (Enter the Twilight Zone.....OooOOooOo....*play eerie, funky music now*....OoOoOOooOooooOoooo....Hmm...I used to wear a little more make-up than I do now, because I felt as though I needed it to look and feel my best. Throughout my university career, I reduced the amount of make-up I wore and now I mainly just wear eyeliner, mascara, clear lipgloss, and concealer [on the occasional time I get a blemish]. With time, I'm hoping to free myself from eyeliner and mascara.) If you pay attention to other drivers on the road as they make a mad dash to work in the morning, you might be surprised by what you see. I have yet to see a person driving, using only the feet, but I won't be surprised when I do. I've witnessed a man shaving with a razor while driving! The razor was NOT electric and he was actually using shaving gel!!!! How messy! Another time I saw a woman putting on mascara while driving, almost poking her eye out when she came to a stop. Unfortunately, I'd like to forget the time I saw a middle-aged man picking his nose and eating the goobers....ugh...Speaking about goobers (yes, I'm sure this is just so darn fascinating...*rolls eyes*), once when I was on the subway, I saw a man (also middle-aged, but not the same guy - THANK GOODNESS!) picking his nose and FLINGING it!!!! UGH! Luckily I was sitting far, faaaar away, but there was a woman sitting directly across from that guy and I was surprised to see that she remained firmly planted to her seat. If I was her, I would've changed seats. Also, while waiting for the subway, I once saw a man clipping his fingernails, but looking on the bright side, at least he didn't whip off his socks and start on his toenails (eww)! (Wow, I just got deja vu...I think that I may have written about the fingernail-clipping guy before in my diary...) Hmm...in any event, there's just one thing I want you to remember. Anytime you think that no one is watching you, take a good look around for a female with long, blackish-brown curly hair. It's probably me and.....I..can...see...you! Hehe...how's that for instilling paranoia? Yeah, I know...I should get a pat on the back...hehe...In times like this, I wish I had a handy digital camcorder to record them and fill up an entire dvd. I'm sure that SOMEONE would buy it. It's like I always half-jokingly say, "There's a sucker born every minute in Canada, every second in the United States, and every nanosecond on Ebay." "You're the meaning in my life / You're the inspiration / You bring feeling to my life / You're the inspiration / Wanna have you near me / I wanna have you hear me sayin' / No one needs you more than I need you" - exerpt from the song "You're the Inspiration" by Chicago (a song that was featured in one of The Karate Kid movies) Ahhh yesss, a simplistic, 1980s cookie-cutter classic (say that three times fast) love song can stir something inside of me. I was only a kid during the eighties and many times now when I hear a song from back then, it brings a happy, carefree, fun innocence. I can't attribute my love for eighties music to the influence from my parents though, because my dad has insatiable interest in the 1950s and 1960s, while my mother doesn't care much for music in general, however, when she DOES listen to it, it's usually classical or songs from musicals. When I was a kid, I grew up with my dad's "golden oldies" singers like Elvis, Wanda Jackson, Paul Anka, Petula Clarke, etc. I only started choosing my own music to listen to when I was in grade six. (I know -- a late bloomer and highly abnormal. Maybe some psychologists want to use me in a case study). Sadly, I can recall my first musical purchase ever. It was a cassette (*gasp* Yes, not a CD!) called "The Simpsons Sing the Blues" and yesss, The Simpsons as in the cartoon by Matt Groening. It's one of the things that I'm quasi-ashamed to admit. *Blush* When I started to listen to more music, I listened mainly to pop and r&b. This trend continued through high school, except I had a strong preference towards techno, dance, trance, and bubblegum pop. Probably by grade 12, I started opening my mind up to other music genres and I found that I liked a lot of rock, hip hop, and some country and rap. Now, I listen to almost every type of music you can imagine and each gives me the type of enjoyment that I can't quite get from the other. I know a lot of people who like only one or two musical genres and that's it....so I get a little smug feeling, just knowing that I can enjoy a larger variety. Of course, there IS crap out there (unfortunately, but how can you truly say that you've heard good music unless you've heard the terrible?). What do I list under the crap-o-la category? Hmm...I would have to say...J.C. Chasez. I am not his fan and I never was one (even when he was in teeny bopper Nsync -- one of the most overrated boy bands that often caused me to reach for a barf bag). He has an album called "Schizophrenic," which includes such songs as "All Day Long I Dream About Sex" and "Some Girls [Dance with Women]." It's clear that he's not exactly a philosopher or the brightest crayon in the box. (Quick side note: I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, either. If I could be any coloured crayon, I'd be the black one with silver specks). With his perpetuation of the mental patient stereotype (i.e. the depiction of J.C. in a strait jacket on the album's cover) and cheesy lyrics like "So you wanna be a rockstar / Keep it going, don't stop / What's that song called? It goes, "It's like a heat wave....burning up inside...." I think the song is just called "Heat Wave"...but yeah, here in Canada we sure got it. It was ever-so-humid for a long time and I wasn't complaining. I'd take hot, muggy weather over the freezing winter anytime. I can never understand people who tell me that they prefer winter. I try, but...I fail to see eye-to-eye with them. For instance, a former professor told me that he prefers the winter because that's when his armpits don't sweat as much. (That's okay, take a moment right now to say, "Ohhhh, okayyyyy....GROSSS!") That professor also went on to tell me that when the weather's warm, he brings an extra dress shirt to work because he always soaks through the one he left his house wearing. Yes, he is special. His mommy and doctor say so....hehe...Seriously though, to him, -10°C is considered "really warm weather." Sheesh! I remember seeing him walk to the lecture hall in the wintertime. It was a bizarre sight. You'd see other people walking outside wearing down-filled jackets, with scarves, gloves, and hats. Meanwhile that professor was wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and dress pants...but NO JACKET, no gloves, no hat, and no scarf! Upon entering the class, he'd always say, "It's so hot today!" and all us students would exchange weird looks. Other than that, he was a pretty good professor, although he DID remind me way too much of Ned Flanders from the Simpsons in oh-so-many ways...hehe...but that's another story. Even though I am doing website work for two clients, I recently applied to work at a long-term care facility. I am enthusiastic and motivated to get more practical work experience. I attended a job fair and immediately got an interview. That went very well and they called me back the next day, inviting me to go in for the second stage interview. I went to that yesterday afternoon and I think it went very well also. I have a pretty good chance at landing this job and I'm VERY excited because the environment is very pleasant and relaxing, in addition to the staff who seem very friendly (nice people to work with). I'm anxious because I'm supposed to hear from them today regarding if I got the job or not. Please cross your fingers and toes (if you can)...Even if I don't get the job, it was still a good experience for me because I believe that at any interview you go to, you will always learn something new and be able to apply it in the future. This was such a great opportunity for me to go through this whole process and I'm thankful. Tomorrow I'm going to go to the park with Mike. They've got food, live entertainment, and things for sale. It sounds like fun, but I hope it won't be overly crowded. Crowds can sometimes suck the enjoyment out of any event. Afterwards, we'll probably head over to the mall and do a bit of shopping for Mike (because he rarely shops for clothes, it seems and I'd love to help him pick out some spiffy things), before going to watch "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I wanted to see it shortly after it first came out, but my plans with too many friends became too complicated and it seemed like all the stars and planets had to align before our schedules could be conflict-free, so my boyfriend and I decided that just the two of us will see it. It's easier this way and besides, if we wait around for a large group of people to decide what time is best, we may very well be waiting so long that the movie comes out on dvd already...haha! Hmm...the last time I wrote in here, it was June. So much has happened since then. For one, I spent about a week in Ottawa. It was my third time there and the most enjoyable. Previously I only stayed there for a few days, so it wasn't enough time to relax and enjoy the city. This time around was a blast because I also managed to get some shopping done. It seems like in Ottawa, the small sizes are still on the racks, whereas where I live, the larger sizes tend to remain. I'm a small woman, so it gets frustrating when the only sizes left are all large ones. My family carries youthful genetics. Both of my parents look younger than they actually are and when people learn their actual ages, they always gawk. It's funny because I seem to be following in their genetic footsteps. I say it's funny because we are the type of people who will be carded for the rest of our lives. Let me explain...When I became an official adult at 18, whenever I went to the pubs on campus (etc.), people ALWAYS thought that I was younger and would ask me to show identification (which I did). When my mom was in her twenties, she was mistaken for a twelve-year-old and was given the kids' menu at a restaurant when out on a date! (Haha, thankfully I've never been mistaken for looking THAT young, myself....) Whenever my father goes to Shoppers Drug Mart on the Senior Days, the cashiers usually think that he's joking about being a senior, but he really is one (he's 66 years old). One time when my dad told the cashier that he's a senior (so that he could get the 20% discount), the cashier actually laughed, smirked, and said, "Nice try!" Haha, so you see, the Shaw family will be asked for proof of age our whole lives. Well, this was a short-like-me entry (and NO, I'm not a midget...). I had to get the monthly blurb in before August. Hopefully my next entry will outshine this one, because quite frankly I'm a little disappointed with how this one turned out. Oh well, another month, another diary entry, another chance to show people just how strange Mary Shaw is.....*makes a goofy face*....Actually, I find it odd how so many of you have e-mailed me, saying that I remind you of yourself. The world IS a scary place (hehe)! And here I was thinking that I was special and different....*sigh*....*smirk* (*gasp*...and starting a sentence with the word "and!" That is pretty rare for me.) Any hoot, come back again sometime in August for the next monthly entry. I hope that you are all enjoying your summer! Mary Shaw ~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-.~.*-. SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: "These Words" by Natasha Bedingfield (not the most prolific lyrics, but the melody is pretty funky/catchy the first few times you listen to it) LAST FEW SONGS I LISTENED TO: + "Untouchable" by Garbage + "True Blue" by Madonna + "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers + "I Just Called to Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder + "By Your Side" by Sade + "Addy's Tattoo" by Megan Slankard + "As Time Goes By" by Nana Mouskouri + "Sick Cycle Carousel" by Lifehouse 
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Friday July 29th, 2005. - 2:35 PM